[Icarion]

I was laying beside my girlfriend when all of a sudden I have this split second anxiety "hit" that made me feel loony and coupled with the harm thoughts I already have been having toward my girlfriend, this really made me feel like I was capable of doing something - but I didnt. But it defintiely scared, disturbed me.
I actually cried over the fact I experienced it. Now Im thinking I dont need to be in her apartment. Anyone identify?

[spondiferous]

Absolutely. I have been with my partner for over two years now, and we're getting married in two weeks, and I still feel like I am a threat to her at times. I still feel like I have it in me to harm her because of the **** that goes through my head. And not just her, but other people as well, people I know very well, most especially children and animals. For that reason I will not be alone with children or animals because I get really nervous. I guess technically that's avoidance...but it's the only way I feel like they can be safe around me.
So yeah...it probably won't make you feel better, because it's so difficult to live with, and so intrusive and horrifying...but you are definitely not alone.