Meeting Him

A long time ago, in the hospital cafeteria, I met a fellow employee who had a food item. I asked where it was, said thanks and left. A few hours later I get an email from him making a joke about the food item. I thought it was creepy because that meant he had to look at my name tag, go to email and search my name. Granted its easy enough to do but I was very uncomfortable by it and didn't reply for weeks.

Then, one day, out of impulse I finally replied and told him that was creepy. He apologized, but then I felt bad for making him feel bad.

We conversed more over email (one word - one sentence emails) and he told me about his kids, he's married, their trips, etc. I don't really reveal much (because I don't tell people at work much about me - I don't like the two worlds to collide. i'm just not comfortable nor do i have an interest in getting to know them.) but I did end up telling him about my Etsy shop.

He asked me to make some bows for his daughter, and I have. But now I have to meet him to give him them and i'm freaking out. I haven't met him since the cafe (not sure what he looks like anymore). He's asked to treat me to lunch in the cafe (which is doubly creepy - he's married, i've told him this - he said its not like that he's just friendly/sociable by nature) and i've turned him down multiple times. Ugh.

I'm really hoping he's not in his office, and I can just leave it on his desk. That way I can email him and let him know to just pay for them online. With my luck, that won't happen though.

Any suggestions? Is this a weird situation or am I just weird?

I don't really think I have social anxiety like how its described, because I tend to relax after 2-3 meetings with anyone. But I hate hate hate meeting new people and even worse talking. I wish I hadn't made these bows. I don't know.

Well the good thing is, it won't be today. But he wants to meet (face to face - his words) the next time I work to get the bows. This is giving me a headache.

Ok, so I will add my personal thoughts here. I'm a guy, and am naturally wary of people. I'm thinking that even though you may have a social disorder (according to your post), you are right to be creeped out here. I assume that in your conversations over email you told him that you make bows? I cannot see myself meeting someone for a few seconds, speaking briefly over email, then suddenly asking them to make bows for my daughter. Its a bit odd to me. I say lets your instincts guide you here, and don't doubt any reservations you have. At this point get the bows to him, but keep your attitude business like and serious. Once that is done, cut it with him.
I know some here may feel I am being too negative, but my instincts have done me right. This gives me bad vibes. If I were to just spill what my fist thought was when reading this, it is that this guy is looking to get to know you, as in on the side. And if "Creepy" was your first reaction, then clearly you have no interest in further friendship.
You don't have to socialize with everyone you meet just because you are supposed to. I don't have a social disorder yet I avoid most people I meet. I have to click with the people I meet to form a friendship.

You are now worrying yourself over getting these bows to him, and that is understandable. I think its mainly because it is awkward of him to ask someone he barely knows to do a personal favor. That would be awkward to anyone. If there was an agreement made that you feel would be bad to back out of, then like I said, deliver it but show no personal interest in socializing further. A simple courteous delivery and thank you. If you can back out, all the better.

All social anxiety disorder aside, if it looks like a fish and smells like a fish, it must be...

An almost instant e-mail, divulging information about himself and his family, and insistent on face to face, meeting.

Ever been quasi-wooed by a married man, before? Mine, wasn't upfront, at first, it was at work, there was flirtatious glances, then out popped the wedding ring, and all bets were off. That moment, in time, I don't feel, I'll soon ever forget. Just about a year ago, as well.

Thanks guys. I have had a nice guy tell me how "turned off" he was (not in a gf/bf way; he was interested in my friend) by my paranoia. He said I acted as if he was going to murder us and just wasn't trusting etc. He of course said once getting to know me (we all went out as a group a few months later and ended up going to his place) that I was "cool people" but he wouldn't have guessed it and should have shown it earlier. Because of this, i'm hesitant to trust my judgements because i generally don't like anyone when I first meet them. =/ Just trying not to repeat the same pattern. Good to know i'm not the only one who thinks this guy is creepy. I am really considering just "shipping" him the product; i'm scared to meet him. But he works at the same hospital so its not like he can't just come down to my area and get the bows. Ugh.

I think it's creepy too. It almost sounds like he's trying to force his company on you with buying your bows. Especially since you already told him you think he's creey. So he responds by being even creepier? Any way you can use a middle man to deliver them?

I don't think you're being too negative at all, just smart. It gives me bad vibes as well.

You know I really thought about this! But then I was like uh...what if he's a mass murderer? Then i'll be responsible for someone elses death! Lol, totally love the responding by being even creepier comment and I was thinking the same thing about the bows! I'm thinking of maybe taking someone with me at least. Thanks. Definitely cutting ties after this.

Ok good. I am naturally untrusting of people, until I get to know them that is. And I always err on the side of caution.

tealBumblebee, Suggestion: the bow delivery is going to take place AT the hospital. No other place that he suddenly decides to bring up, saying its the least he can do, like lunch or something. At work only. He's already put you in an obligated position because of the bows. I'm actually really curious if he would suggest meeting outside of work.

He did actually suggest meeting out of work. I had a T appt, so I told him since I was on that side of town i'd drop it at the hospital before my appt. Then he said he had to take his daughter to gymnastics and could meet me at my appt. You already know that was a HECK no, which is why it pushed to Friday. Its really a very creepy situation. I hope to meet him NOT on my lunch break so he doesn't think i have time to spare to hang around any. Ugh.

Yikes! I'm so glad you saw through that!!
he's the creepiest!!!

Evidence of creepiness #3. Or is it 4 now. LOL

Seriously, he may have nothing but honest and good intentions, and we suspect the worst. But even if that were the case, the fact that he has you making bows for his daughter, which is an odd request of someone he doesn't really know, insisting on meeting in person, and now suggesting he meet you at an appointment without taking into account that you need privacy for that, is indeed creepy and awkward.

Perhaps he saw something in your short encounter that wasn't really there.

I have no idea what it could be beyond the fact that I like food. I don't know where he sat at so he could have watched me as I was sitting alone (i always lunch alone) but I don't know. My best friend thinks he's just socially awkward and not creepy but I honestly have no idea.

Ok, but socially awkward single guy is ok. He would be looking to meet someone. But socially awkward married guy?
As healingme4me said earlier, this looks and smells fishy.

Yeah, I'm at least comforted in the fact that you guys are validating my paranoia. Thanks!

This fellow sounds TOO forward to me. A man you really don't know, trying to have some kind of relationship with you. It would make me really uncomfortable.

Well I went to work today, and emailed him letting him know I was super busy (honestly) but I did slip away for all of five minutes and met him by the elevators. He gave me the money "bundled" and I didn't check it until I was off (over an hour and a half later) found out he paid me $5 extra (which i had already told him I did not want/need). But the good thing was he wasn't as creepy as I thought in person. And he looked nothing like I thought but the good thing is, I feel much much better now that its over and I no longer have to keep in touch with him should I choose not to. Thanks for your advice everyone - i legitimately thought he could have been a serial killer!