[SheHulk07]

This week is finally here, the one I've scheduled for months ago. Surgery is just 5 days away, tomorrow and Tuesday I have to go through 8 hour infusions each day. My father will likely be here on Thursday (NOT a good thing). Christmas is next week and we have no money to buy stuff for our kids.

It has hit me like a ton of bricks, and I am freaking out. All my other surgeries were urgent, so I didn't have more than a week to plan them. This one I've had scheduled since October.

I can't push it back, because I only have so much time off from school and I need that time to recover. I'm not even that worried/nervous about the surgery itself, it's the chance of it getting cancelled on me because of how sick I'll get with the infusion.

I'm more panicking over the infusion, because all 4 other ones I've done I've ended up in the ER, sick with fever, vomiting, nausea, weak. I have fought and fought to not do this infusion, but they want me to have it before the surgery. I want to SCREAMMMMM and tell them NO, but then I risk my blood count being too low and the surgery being pushed back.

GAHHHHHH!!! I need major support this week. Virtual hugs accepted.