[neutrino]

I'm not completely sure this is the appropriate forum for this particular thread but I didn't know where else to post it so I hope this is ok.

I'm sort of wondering if any of you have a difficult time with letting other people do important things that you think you can do better? Let me explain. Yesterday, for example, I had to make a PowerPoint presentation together with three other people for one of our classes. In my opinion they didn't do a great job with it and I had several ideas in mind which could've improved the presentation. However, the few times I dared to open my mouth and suggest things (I find that very difficult to do due to my social anxiety) I sort of got downvoted.

Things like that whole situation really makes me anxious because not only do I think they're a bit immature (the presentation looked like something that could've been made by a young high school student) but I also get anxious about failing. I have this need for things being done my way because I reckon my way is the better way, at least in this case. Delegating tasks is something I find a bit difficult since that means I can't control everything. When for example writing a lab report I feel the need to change what the others have written so that it is all written in the same way (especially if I see that they haven't written it that well). The same kind of language (I often have to change the language so that for example personal pronouns aren't used since they aren't allowed in lab reports), the same amount of space between paragraphs etc. To get some sort of consistency in the report. Do you know what I mean?

All of this might make me come across as arrogant or very controlling and like a bit of a jerk but I can't really help it. I've always been very good at language and grammar and things like that (referring to Swedish, my first language, though I think my English is pretty ok too) and I've been told a lot of my lab reports are flawless. I know what I'm doing and I've got a clear picture of how things should be done in order for, for example, a lab report to be really good.

Not being able to control those things makes me anxious. Yesterday I was so anxious that I honestly considered redoing the whole presentation myself so that the presentation I'll give (I'm going to present the whole thing to two teachers, not the whole class, due to my pretty severe social anxiety disorder) will be a presentation I'm not embarrassed about. I told a friend about this but she thought I was overreacting.

Is there something wrong with me? Do I react like this because of my OCD? Because of my perfectionism? Am I just an arrogant and stupid control freak? I don't really see this whole thing as a problem (except for the anxiety) as it makes everything I do better than if I didn't do things this way and I want to clarify that I'd never be rude to anyone because of this. I'd never be rude to the people I made the presentation with. I'd never be mean or angry or anything. I often don't even say anything. It just makes me anxious when things aren't done the best way possible. So, honestly, what do you think about this?

(I'm afraid you'll all think I'm a horrible person now. I'm really not horrible at all.)

[canyouhearmenow]

Hi,

I dealt with this in school. At the beginning of group project, I always volunteered to "put the final pieces together". This was my way of making sure I was comfortable with the final product (including grammar, layout, etc).

As my academic career continued, I was able to figure out who made good "group partners" and tried to work with those people whenever possible.

I do remember one project that the other group members turned in sub-par work. I was relieved when another girl in the group helped me re-write the whole thing. We stayed up all night, checking in with each other every half hour or so...we survived

I find this skill to be more challenging now as a manager. I find that I save all the "bad"/complex/challenging stuff for myself, and that I often fix my reports' errors myself instead of addressing it and asking them to review their work again. I totally suck as a manager and didn't want to be one, but was promoted without much say.

[Dan208]

I'm actually the same way at work. My boss will tell me to get one of the high school kids to do something, but I usually just end up doing it myself. That way I know it will get done right and in a timely manner. I'm extremely picky about how things are done.