[riksie-dixie]

To be honest, I can't tell which I have. I'm a little confused. I mean, I know what both are, I'm just not sure if I have one or the other, or both.

So needless to say, here's my time line:

- 2008: Fear of dolls from looking up information on Child's Play; extreme anxiety and worried that a doll would pop out of nowhere and kill me.

- 2011: Fear of hurricanes after Hurricane Irene; we lost power for almost a day. Extreme anxiety, worrying about losing power. Still suffer from anxiety attacks when the power does go out, despite us having a generator.

- 2013 to present: I had a cavity investigated in my tooth and the dentist brought up wisdom teeth; saw x-ray and how close they were to my teeth. Looked up information concerning wisdom teeth and didn't want them to hurt. Ended up looking information on the surgery and came across dry socket, known as the extremeness of pain. Tooth with filling acted up and became afraid of possibly extraction; also looked up receding gums... afraid of teeth falling out.

Now, I'll admit, I'm not that bad now... I still have my thoughts about my future (dental) health, and they're not dehabilitating, but they... distract me.

Is there anyway I can deal with this? I heard benzos are better for anticipatory anxiety. I previously took 20mg of Lexapro for misdiagnosed social anxiety, and it never worked for my regular anxiety. I'm going to the doctor's in two weeks (behind my parents' backs) to talk to him about going on a new medication, and bringing up my concerns about me having depression.

I have tried therapy before, but it was never too beneficial. I tried looking for a Cognitive-Behavioral therapist, but there are none available in the area, the same goes for a psychiatrist.

My parents have explicitly told me that they can't afford a specialist for me, despite the fact that we have insurance (guess it's not that good?).