[Tsuki632]

How do you tell if a 10 year old might be dealing (or not dealing) with anxiety? She wants everyone to be happy (who doesn't) but she's got a lot working against her. There's tension between her parents (divorced), her one grandmother is apparently very unpleasant to be around (the 10yo doesn't like being alone with her), her other grandmother puts her in awkward positions often (don't tell your mom but...), people keep telling her (or she understands it to be) that she's sick. (she has a mild scoliosis, but it's improving as she grows yet she thinks if she falls then she'll end up in a wheelchair) Lately she has "circulation problems" because her feet are cold at night (it's winter and we live in Canada, everyone's feet are cold).

How do I convince this kid that her job is to be a kid? She's the most easy-going, pleasant kid to be around. She told me last night, that her throat gets sore because she's trying to keep the "cry" in. She doesn't want to cry, because it might upset her mom, dad, etc... She's starting to get sudden tummy aches, missing school, etc... The kid who loved school last year, wants to change schools this year.

[IchbinkeinTeufel]

Aww, the throat bit was a heart-tugger. :\ Sounds more like some kind of depression, than anxiety. Can you or her parents not get her some professional help? If anything, it sounds like she could do with someone to talk to.

[Tsuki632]

I'd love to, but I'm the "interloper" and her parents probably wouldn't go for it. Therapy isn't their "thing".

I need some suggestions on how to ask probing questions appropriate for a 10 year old. I want her to talk about her feelings and thoughts rather than bottle them up until they explode.

I want to start giving her the tools to cope now rather than try to learn them as a hormonal teen.

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