[utterlyconfused]

So ever since I was a freshman (I'm a senior now), I got really paranoid and anxious. I struggled and have currently had a relapse with self harm and anorexia. One of the main things that triggered my anxiety was seeing a little girl. The best way to describe her is she's very skinny, has very pale skin with a greenish hue to it. She wears a white dress that has been worn out over the years. Her hair is very long, almost to her waist and it hangs down in her face. She also has glowing red eyes, sometimes they're white. Its very scary to say the least. She's been the main one that I see... I feel like maybe her name is Lucy? I don't know, that name has always popped into my head when I think about her. That's just how I'll refer to her in this forum so it won't be confusing.

Anyways, I'll not only see Lucy, but very rarely I'll see a shadowy figure that scares the living mess out of me. My youth pastor's wife thought that maybe all of the horror movies I watched allowed a window to invite negative spirits into my room. So in attempt to make Lucy go away, I stopped watching the horror movies. She did go away for a while. I would have my bad nights, but for the most part, I was okay.

Now that I've had my relapse, Lucy has come back into my life. Now, not only in my room, but I'll see her in other places and it really freaks me out. One night, I called my boyfriend on my way home because I felt like she followed me, tried to attack me as I was getting into my car, she came into my car in the trunk (I have a hatchback so she was just peeking her head above the back of the seats) and stared at me. I almost got into a wreck because I thought that headlights were her coming after me and the shadows on my dashboard were moving around strangely as I was driving. That was one of the worst moments I've had. Sometimes I'll hear weird voices, but I know its in my head, but i still can't manage to shake the fear and anxiety that comes with it. Its the same way when I see her. Its almost like there is an opacity about her. She isn't tangible and I know that, but seeing her in my mind just really freaks me out. When she was around in my 9th grade year, she just stayed in the corner of my room by the door. Now, she gets maybe 3 feet away from me. I've been scared to get off of my bed because I'm scared she's going to grab my ankle.

Now, the only reason why I think I have such a huge fear about it is because I have had many experiences with demons, evil spirits, whatever you want to call them. I actually have had something grab my ankle and it was ice cold. I will never forget it. My boyfriend talked to his cousin who has had a lot of experience in this area and she thinks that maybe a demon is attaching itself to my razors. I think maybe I'm just suffering from spiritual oppression? I'm sorry if I'm sounding crazy, but I'm nervous about talking to my therapist about this because I don't want her to think I have schizophrenia or something. She's also suggested that I take anxiety pills to calm myself, but I don't want to be 17 taking anxiety medication.

What should I do? Can anyone else relate?

you should bring it up, yes.

at least you can get advice and you know where you stand

[Smellyfinger]

Yea you should talk to your doc about it. Don't be afraid of a diagnosis no matter what it is. If you go without treatment it can only get worse.

I was diagnosed with schizophrenia and I was in denial about it for like a year before I accepted it. I used to think a spirit was attached to me and was following me whenever I was in the dark. But after I got the diagnosis and started taking zyprexa I don't feel that way anymore.

I'll be honest, I used to see a little girl too. I never gave her a name or anything but she'd pop up as a quick flash sometimes like at a friend's house or in my bathroom while I'm showering.

I understand that you're young and you don't want that label of being 'crazy' but this sounds like an unhealthy way to live. Being afraid all the time is toxic and you'll probably develop a stomach ulcer with all that worry. At least that's what happened to me.

But I still believe in the paranormal. I just don't see things anymore.

Don't feel bad about it though. Nobody has to know about it and medication can make it go away.

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