[bazzinga1990]

today i have to go to this personal shower and i'm nervous i might freak out or just want to leave as soon as i get there. i'm really hoping to not have a panic attack in front of everyone there i also am scared this will be too much for me being that i haven't done anything with friends in like two weeks.
i dont want to get overwelmed and feel like i have to cut when i get home. im scared because anything and everything makes me want to si.

[Frankbtl]

Hi bazzinga, I'm guessing that just thinking about the possibility of that happening is making it worse for you and bringing it closer??
And I can understand that it can be really hard to block those thoughts going around in your head when it's been so real for you before. But maybe try to focus on seeing particular people there you might feel more comfortable with and use that as a bit of security. If you can try to stay a little closer to them? But then again you know that you can kind of "slip into the background" if you need to. It may seem like a lot of focus may be on you considering how you may be feeling, but if some is it's really not going to be for that long a time when it is. People are going to be talking to each other too, and you won't be quite the center of attention it may feel like.
But just know that you have some backup's/get out's if you need them, if things are getting hard. You could go to the bathroom for a bit of a breather, you could just step outside (?) away from so many people, you can even apologize and tell them you have a bit of a headache and say you need a little quiet just for a bit and find yourself somewhere quieter.
And you know that you always have the big get away if you take your phone with you. Now that can do whatever you want for you!! If you say you've got a message and need to give someone a quick ring you can step away somewhere private to do that (a breather!!!). I'm sure you can make an excuse as to who it is/what they want???
Or say you've got a message/reminder on your phone, you're really sorry but you'd forgotton to..........and you really need to go. Or you've got a call and you really need to catch up with someone??
But in your mind set a time scale on how long you're going to be there, so something to focus on if you're struggling. Only half an hour....twenty minutes........fifteen minute more. And you don't even have to be there that long, as long as you've gone. I'm sure there will be other people who can't, for one reason or another, be there the full time.
But total respect to you in deciding you want to try to be there despite everything!! That shows real strength!! Well done!!!
And if you only manage say quarter of an hour, twenty minutes, half an hour.....there (whatever) and then need to make an excuse and leave then make sure that you feel absolutely, completely, totally proud of yourself for managing that.
Just do whatever you can, and try to enjoy as much of it as you can if you can. You'll be among friends remember!!
Best wishes
Alison

[SeekerOfLife]

Hey bazzinga. I guess if it were me I would just get up and leave. You are under no obligation to stay if you are not comfortable. You do not even have to give a reason for why you are leaving. Don't put stress on yourself. Do what helps you ( please don't SI). As someone once said, what would you tell a friend to do to be ok or to bring comfort to herself?

[bazzinga1990]

Originally Posted by Frankbtl

Hi bazzinga, I'm guessing that just thinking about the possibility of that happening is making it worse for you and bringing it closer??
And I can understand that it can be really hard to block those thoughts going around in your head when it's been so real for you before. But maybe try to focus on seeing particular people there you might feel more comfortable with and use that as a bit of security. If you can try to stay a little closer to them? But then again you know that you can kind of "slip into the background" if you need to. It may seem like a lot of focus may be on you considering how you may be feeling, but if some is it's really not going to be for that long a time when it is. People are going to be talking to each other too, and you won't be quite the center of attention it may feel like.
But just know that you have some backup's/get out's if you need them, if things are getting hard. You could go to the bathroom for a bit of a breather, you could just step outside (?) away from so many people, you can even apologize and tell them you have a bit of a headache and say you need a little quiet just for a bit and find yourself somewhere quieter.
And you know that you always have the big get away if you take your phone with you. Now that can do whatever you want for you!! If you say you've got a message and need to give someone a quick ring you can step away somewhere private to do that (a breather!!!). I'm sure you can make an excuse as to who it is/what they want???
Or say you've got a message/reminder on your phone, you're really sorry but you'd forgotton to..........and you really need to go. Or you've got a call and you really need to catch up with someone??
But in your mind set a time scale on how long you're going to be there, so something to focus on if you're struggling. Only half an hour....twenty minutes........fifteen minute more. And you don't even have to be there that long, as long as you've gone. I'm sure there will be other people who can't, for one reason or another, be there the full time.
But total respect to you in deciding you want to try to be there despite everything!! That shows real strength!! Well done!!!
And if you only manage say quarter of an hour, twenty minutes, half an hour.....there (whatever) and then need to make an excuse and leave then make sure that you feel absolutely, completely, totally proud of yourself for managing that.
Just do whatever you can, and try to enjoy as much of it as you can if you can. You'll be among friends remember!!
Best wishes
Alison

Thank you so much ur such I good friend.

~warm hug from me to you~

[bazzinga1990]

Already for si that night after but thanks cause that advise is good so good in fact I might just do that in the future

~warm hug from me to you~