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Hi all! This is my first post so I apologize in advance if its a little long. I'm 18 almost 19 and a student at college 6 hours away from my home. Ever since I was young ADHD has been a problem for me and since my senior year I've been dealing with anxiety and depression and through my first year of school OCD has become a prominent issue. At first my parents didn't think that there was anything wrong with me but they quickly learned differently after I went off to school and I would have to call home in the middle of the night to have someone talk me out of the uncontrollable downward spiral I was stuck in. None of my friends at school understood and everyone I thought was my friend here believed my, as they call it "anxiety" and "depression" was a ploy for attention and my need to be in the middle of the spotlight all the time. I quickly learned who my real friends had been when I was verbally attacked by several friends saying my illness was muse something I was saying to get people to feel sorry for me and get attention from other people when I didn't deserve it. I've never felt so alone as I did in those moments, 6 hours from everyone I've always known and loved, I'd never felt more low then when they would drunkenly yell at me wishing I were dead or that everyone else's lives would be easier without me around. Thats when I became suicidal, when I felt like my life was more of a burden to people then a joy. That's when I planned to take my life the nights where I felt like nothing and that no one would ever appreciate or understand me. But thats why I'm on this website. Because I am doing so much better than I can ever remember. I've gotten help, I've found the people in my life that love me and know and care how I'm doing. It was the moment when my best friend was in India working at an orphanage and was sitting in a wifi cafe at 1am our time and 9am her time and she spent all day until 8am my time texting and face timing me until I could talk to my mom that I knew we were best friends. It was the people who would comfort me and understood what I felt like that will stay near and dear to my heart forever, my family members that would want me to call them at 3 am to tell me how special I was to them. I am by no means "cured" and I don't think I ever will be, these struggles will always be present in my life but it's the journey that continues. You can and you will get through the hardest part and prevail! And thats why I'm here to share my story and personal help with others because you ARE loved, and you ARE special, and you ARE NOT alone. I use a lot of motivational quotes to get me through my days, my favorite one is this "If there's one thing I've learned about life it's this.. IT GOES ON!" so don't forget that. And whoever you are, wherever you are, even if there's anyone still reading for you troopers.. I love you and I understand what you're going through. Please never forget that.
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Mar 25, 2014, 02:50 PM
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.
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