[ItGoesOn]

So I often feel when I am around large groups of people or even small groups of friends that people dislike me being there or are talking about me. Even when its just small groups of friends I feel like if I leave the room people will start talking about me even if this isn't necessarily true. I was bullied A LOT in middle school and I think that's where a lot of this fear stems from. I was wondering if anyone else felt this way and had any rational way of dealing with it instead of just isolating myself and breaking down when I may not even need to.

[fentagurl]

Yes , when this starts happening do some self talk as in its really rather vain of you to think you are the topic of conversation. If you engage in conversations you will be distracted from intrusive thoughts and paranoia. Try it, everyone is more worried about themselves rather than you believe me!! Good luck



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[doglover123456]

sounds like me.. bullied.. never stood up for myself.. lost several '' friends due to gossiping and talking behind my back.. now can't trust anyone. even relatives and fam has let me down... it's especially hard if you have low self esteem or you are shy or a '' doormat'' trust me i know..

[BLUEDOVE]

You need to learn how to be assertive,and not be
afraid to get angry when needed.When I gave self
permission to get angry for my protection,a large
amount of my anxiety was reduced. It is a living
hell to be trapped in, your anger can set you free.
Deepest Respect,
BLUEDOVE

[LaborIntensive]

Originally Posted by BLUEDOVE

You need to learn how to be assertive,and not be
afraid to get angry when needed.When I gave self
permission to get angry for my protection,a large
amount of my anxiety was reduced. It is a living
hell to be trapped in, your anger can set you free.
Deepest Respect,
BLUEDOVE

Same here. There is something to be said about taking the high road and avoiding confrontation regarding unimportant issues but to lose friends due to gossip (the question being how good of a friend were they?). Stay strong in knowing that you can confront those who seem to make you feel this way, just be sure something is really being said. At work I would often observe and follow through with the way I was being treated. If the co-worker kept up with being a know it all or going to the boss with each and every issue I would work harder and make sure the boss could see what I was doing. Then, make sure I talked to the boss more and got know his/her hobbies and values. Eventually you can play the same game with the gossipy know it all and squeal on them from time to time and correct them as they will slack off (I promise) as you work harder because there will be less for that person to do.

If were talking kiddie friends then it is much the same. If you know a good friend and they are falling in with the bad people be sure you get to know the bad friend and try to be the cool kid. Then make sure your friend sees how you are changing and tell them you think it's wrong but what should you do and your friend (a true friend) will ask you to change and come back to being normal. If not you will need to make the changes yourself and hope the good friend follows you along.

AND....if your paranoid a lot be sure you seek therapy so that it does not grow into full blown psychosis.

[kim1975]

I got picked on every day in school. No one ever did a thing about it. Then I went home and got picked on by my brother constantly. Parents hardly did a thing about that either. I grew up thinking I was worthless.

[doglover123456]

so sorry to hear this Kim!! I hope you are feeling better.. know you are not worthless, you are so loved by Jesus. In knowing that, makes all the difference in the world!

insecurity is VERY intimidating.

I hope you know that you are not hated by everyone. Clearly people here CARE about you. Count me in as one of the people that support you.

Being bullied so much forces our minds to build up defense mechanisms. It sounds like your fear is your shield. I hope that someday you will be strong enough to accept our love for you.