Driving anxiety is getting ridiculous!

Background: I grew up with an anxiety disorder which apparently led my family to believe I was not mentally equipped to learn to drive. Consequently, not even really giving me a chance, they never taught me. While they were willing to teach my younger siblings (I'm the oldest of four), I was placated with promises of "Sure, I'll teach you," but nobody ever stepped up and did it. That is, until my husband very kindly paid for lessons and bought me the used car to practice in. That's when I discovered that, despite what I had been led to believe about myself, I *am* capable of learning to drive a car! I'm going to be 50 in June, and I've been licensed for a little over a year. I had to pause driving over the winter. It gets dark too early around here, and I have significant night blindness. So, come spring, it was almost like learning all over again.

Today I had two appointments scheduled. I'm home from the first, and due to leave soon for the second. And I'm still finding myself near panic sometimes. I know exactly what the anxiety-producing thoughts are. I'm anticipating other drivers thinking badly about me if I'm slow or hesitant, especially when it's raining as it was earlier today. The light's been green for half a second, and nobody's honking, but I can just envision someone in a car behind me getting mad and grumbling, "Move your butt, lady!" I'm not without some reason here. I know there are times I'm doing exactly the speed limit, yet I see other drivers passing me like I'm sitting still, giving me dirty looks as they do so. The tendency around here is to think the speed limit is actually whatever is posted, plus 5. Even if it's raining.

I know, intellectually, so what if they are thinking that? The best I can do, is the best I can do. I'm not breaking any laws or running into anything. And I'm really not that bad. My nephew points out that even the best drivers annoy people every day, to which my husband (who has been a professional driver for 30 years) agreed. Husband has driven behind me in traffic, and says he can't tell the difference between me and any other driver. Yet even if nobody honks at me, which usually is the case, I still fear judgment. The deeper issue is not driving. It's fear of what others are saying about me. I can be told until people are blue in the face, never mind what they say, but I have yet to get it to penetrate to the emotional level. Any advice?

[Travelinglady]

Hmmm. I know it's hard, but keep reminding yourself of what your husband said. We are never going to please everybody with our driving. I have received my share and more of honks, dirty looks, and even mouthed words and unkind finger signs. But I was and am doing the best I can.

Please take comfort that you are obeying the traffic rules. These folks will feel less cocky when they find themselves being pulled over for traffic violations.

Maybe as you get in the car, you can say to yourself, "I am a good driver. I will not worry about what other people think" and repeat words such as those ones when you find yourself feeling rattled.

Also, taking deep breaths can help with all kinds of anxiety.