[pisces22]

This past 5 days I've felt a lot better. I was staying really busy and active. A week ago, I was at my lowest. Probably the lowest I've ever been in my life, I was severely depressed and anxious. I went to the doctor and they told they'd call me to set up an appointment with a therapist but I haven't received a call yet. I'm not surprised. I've been taking trazodone. I finally took the whole pill (50mg) last night and it was much more effective than when I took half of it (25mg) I fell asleep much faster. I don't know if these are side effects of the medication or if my body is just doing it on it's own but I have a mild headache and I've had it all afternoon. I've been eating well and I slept great so I don't know if it's the medicine. I've been thinking too much today so that might be the cause of this headache.

I know I've said I've felt better these past days but last night and today I've been feeling really empty and somewhat anxious. I understand completely that when you're dealing with illnesses like this nothing is predictable. I know I'm gonna have good days and bad days. Today is bad but it is not the worse. The state I was in a week ago was the extremely worst. I'm not having anxiety/panic attacks every two seconds but I just feel really empty. I feel like everything I do is pointless. Nothing makes sense anymore. Sometimes I feel like the life I knew is a total lie.

I've never had friends. The only thing I ever did to feel like I was apart of my generation was by being on social media. I used to have online friends and I would basically "stalk" people but not the following you around in public and watching you sleep type of stalking more like following you on your public account on twitter and going through your facebook pictures kinda thing. I've been a "blogger" for 6 years, that kept me busy. A lot of hours in front of a screen. Those things kept me distracted from my depression and anxiety but now they don't make sense. Sometimes I'm scrolling through fb, twitter and/or instagram and then I realize that it's pointless. Maybe it'd make more sense if I ever got notifications on my social media accounts but I don't. This is how I was feeling a few days before I had that major breakdown a week ago. I don't watch tv so now I don't know what to do to stay distracted. I also don't have any energy to go walk or anything. I finished my chores and I'm just sitting here doing nothing, feeling empty.

Sorry for the lengthy post. Just needed to vent.

[MysteryMade]

I'm NOT a medical professional or anyone with any form of training in said way.
But I have personal experience, and I don't mind going off that if it helps.
In My Opinion:
Sounds to me like you might be having a negative side effect to the med's at full dosage; Perhaps half is really all you need? I suggest speaking with your medical's about this.