[zoogirl7]

Hi everyone,
I was diagnosed with panic disorder about 9 yrs ago and for the past 6 yrs felt I had everything somewhat 'under control'. The symptoms were mainly gone and I was rarely having negative thoughts. I'm currently 7 months pregnant with my first child, it was unplanned, but my significant other is happy and around so we've been managing ok. The first month I found out I was a nervous wreck but it never escalated into the 'old ways'. About a month ago, I started getting waves of panic. I was able to let it go for a while, until a couple weeks ago. My brain has started to latch onto to those old feelings again and my life has become pretty miserable. The thoughts of agoraphobia have returned along with my most dreaded symptom, the unreal feelings. No matter how hard I try to self soothe or talk my way through it, I get so scared and escalate. I'm trying so hard to stop this but now I wake up with that scared feeling in the pit of my stomach and though I still do everything, I get scared before going to stores, restaurants, driving, etc.everything again. I never avoid, I always pushed through this, but it feels so bad, I'm so unhappy. I know pregnancy can bring out fears, but I was managing ok until I hit the 3rd trimester. I'm sure I'm starting to get scared now about a baby, just not knowing what to expect, and worrying I'll regress into panic again and be a miserable mother. I cry everyday now and just am not enjoying life at all. Ugh. I'm going back to therapy but so far havent gotten much relief. I know I shouldn't be so hard on myself, but this time this isnt just about me, I have to take care of a baby and be a capable parent. I hate that the fear has come back. I'm sure this is in part because I weaned off my xanax, but I am taking a bit now. I just cant handle all the fearful feelings all the time, it's too much. Has anyone been through this or had a huge setback in their disorder that just sent them reeling? Thanks so much for any help, I am one desperate, scared mom-to-be right now =-/

[pisces22]

Congratulations! I'm only 20 and I've never been pregnant but I can imagine how nerve wracking and exciting being a soon-to-be parent must be. I'm sure you'll be a good one. Just let your baby be your motivation and it's good you're seeing a therapist again. Good luck with everything. I'm sure you'll get through this

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