[K2TOG]

Every Sunday my anxiety gets worse or comes back and I don't sleep well that night and wake up really early and the anxiety gets even worse. I absolutely dread going to work especially on Mondays. I have a co-worker I am afraid of and she likes to tell everyone what to do and she is a know it all. She also likes to tell me what to do with my job and on occasion has gone over my head and handled some of my duties the way she sees fit. Eventually she will dig herself into a hole and make a mistake, then she will have to explain herself to our superiors.

I am a total basket case until I get to work but once I get there I usually settle down. Most of my anxiety is from my compulsive thoughts and I blow things out of proportion. She is nice to me most of the time and I have realized she has her own problems and sometimes she takes them out on me. Hurting people hurt people.

The other thing I realized years ago and have gotten better at dealing with is not acting on my feelings when I'm mad or hurt. There have been many times I have wanted to walk out of my job because of the way she treats me. Like embarrassing me in front of other co-workers or the public. But there again she is the one with the problem if she needs to put people down and embarrass them.

I'm feeling much better having written out my feelings. It is stupid to be afraid of her but I don't like conflict and knowing that someone does not like me really bothers me. She talks about everyone behind their backs so I can only imagine what she says about me. I'm not sure why this bothers me so much but it does. I give other people way too much control over my own happiness. When the truth is they probably don't even spend that much time thinking about me at all.

It must sound like I am crazy and sometimes I feel crazy. For many years I was diagnosed with depression but my counselor thinks the root is GAD. Also a little social anxiety as well and SAD. I'm hesitant to try medication and I'm trying to go the aromatherapy/essential oil route as well as deep breathing and CBT. Counseling has helped tremendously too.

Thank you for reading and again writing this out has relieved some of my anxiety and helped me see reality.

[Travelinglady]

Hi, K2TOG, and welcome to Psych Central! I am glad that writing things out has helped you. That co-worker does sound like a pain. I suspect other workers have her number and see what she is doing.

[dwfieldjr]

Hello, I have a a coworker to that always bad mouths people behind there backs hes gotten it a couple times from other people. Those people always do something to mess up eventually just ignore her.