[Danielle100693]

Ever since I was a kid I've suffered from anxiety. I've never received treatment for it yet and it's getting much worse. I can't open up to anyone about how I feel. No matter if it's about a problem I'm having or if it's my feelings towards my significant other. I can't show emotion to anyone at all. My anxiety stops me from getting a job because I get too nervous and I end up not going to the interview. I went to one and I choked up and my voice was going shaky so I had to take a few minutes to breathe. I felt like just running out but I calmed down. Now, for a while I've been feeling really depressed and it feels like a bus is sitting on my chest. I can't figure out why I'm this way and it makes me hate myself. Also every little thing hurts me that shouldn't. I'm too overly emotional. I worry about my health, every time something is wrong with me I have it on my mind for months and it makes me worse. I suffer from a lot of anxiety symptoms such as hot flushes, finding it hard to breathe, sore muscles, tingling feet, pressure on my forehead, sweaty palms and shaky hands. These make me worse and makes me feel like there actually is something wrong with me. I just feel trapped... There's no way I can talk about my problems/feelings without feeling extremely hurt. Even happy things to a significant other. It hurts me and it makes me want to cry. Do you have a clue why I can't do this? I want to be able to and I can't bring myself to do so. My life as a kid was fine, nothing in the past has made me this way. I've been this way for so many years now.

[Ripose]

I felt like this on and off for quite a bit of my life and the one thing I figured out was that it was caused when there was even a remote chance of failure in any given situation. It is definitely not a normal reaction. Since I figured this out it made for a great starting point for when I went to see my first psychologist, who later referred me to a psychiatrist and he placed me on the appropriate medications. However you may find that just seeing a psychologist is enough and you may not need any meds.

In the meantime try to tell yourself that you are confident, you deserve a chance just like anyone else and that your panic will lessen with each successful interaction or thought. So start small and work yourself up to the more important issues in your life.

Take care and post often.

[Jolisse]

May I suggest you go see a therapist? I've been dealing with this for years, meds and therapy have helped me.

[Mustkeepjob32]

It sounds like meds and/or therapy would be appropriate for you. You say you've been like that for years and it's clear that it has affected your life so much. You deserve to feel better!