[trimommy]

Hi all, I'm not sure if I need to vent or if anyone has any advice.
Our son had a really bad experience with social anxiety during his first year at school. He was a varsity swimmer and after the first few weeks of being on top of the world he started missing practices and sleeping in, that lead to being nervous of the coach and team disapproving (he had an awesome coach but would rightfully call him out if he slacked off) he started avoiding practice all together then started missing classes and sleeping all day. he became so nervous of seeing either his suite mates or anyone that he knew that he hid in his room until everyone was gone then run out and get something to eat. He became agoraphobic by second term and had lost loads of weight and was planning on suicide. We knew he was unhappy and finally got him to confess. The university was very helpful and we saw a councilor the next day. we also saw a campus doctor and department head. they all agreed that our son needed to come home and agreed to not hold his second term marks against him and wiped them out. He came home March 17. from then on he saw a councilor every other week and slowly made improvements. by the end of this August he had gained 40 lbs of muscle by working out every day and was even volunteering at a food bank with me. he felt he was ready for school in September.He was also put on low dose meds by his family doctor.
He is living with his older brother this year at university.
Older brother spends LOADS of time at his girlfriends house so younger brother is alone a lot.
The first few weeks have been great now all of a sudden he has a terrible cold and is calling us very sad and lonely every evening. I called today to see if he felt better and asked how his class was today. The he announces. oh damn my class is starting in 15 min. I told him get going and we can talk later. Older brother texts me and says he didn't go.
I called back and told him to get his but moving now. late to class is better than no class. older brother texted me that he did go finally.
My question (so sorry for the long intro)
Do I 1) call his university councilor and ask him to move up their next week session to tomorrow.
2) call his doctor to ask about upping his meds
3) let him handle this himself and chalk it up to being sick with a bad cold

I just don't know what to do. I am always on egg shells waiting for another back slide. it terrifies me

[Travelinglady]

Hello, trimommy, and welcome to Psych Central! Is your son 18 or older? If so, then he is responsible for his own treatment. We do have a social group for parents of adult children with mental illness, if you would like to join. Here's the link: http://forums.psychcentral.com/group...ll-adults.html.

It's unfortunate that his brother can't be around more. But I don't think it would be right for him to have to give up his social life.

[trimommy]

He is 18 but I confess I have been the mother that did everything for him. He is just starting to book his own appointments with his councilor at University.

As an update he got himself into the counselling centre at school and they were able to see him right away. He went to class, worked out(which he usually does daily) and called me later in the day to say he also spoke with his doctor and decided with her input to stay on the low dose meds. It is so much more difficult for us to gauge the severity of his moods when we cant see him. His councilor suggested Skype instead of phone calls to make the homesickness part of his depression better.