[WholeEnchilada]

This year, I kind of realised I was a Shy Extrovert. I actually do enjoy talking people, I have great pleasure in talking to people.

My main problems though are:

1) Fear of what Im saying - Is what Im saying correct? Will it make me look stupid? Will it offend someone else?
2) Fear of Group Talking - Its far easier talking one on one, but when there's a more dominant force, I back off into a corner. And when there's someone I want to talk to, I will not talk across someone and I will not move again - I don't know if this is fear of moving to be next to person I want to speak to and find out that person doesn't want to speak to me?
3) Approaching People - When I scan a room, I see people involved in their group conversations, and I will not go up, I will not interrupt. I figure their private conversations are private. They don't need interlopers.

If people come to me, if people include me, if people break the ice - then Im great, it all happens! I guess this all probably looks like fear of rejection. Even though I don't actually mind rejection. I think I fear looking stupid. Fear of being found out. Fear of being a fraud?

It is getting easier, I can talk to and approach some people. It's happening. I feel better for it. But then there are others who just scare me completely to death. I don't know why this would be the case. Maybe because I look up to them? Even people I've known several years, I will not approach them - unless I have a purpose!

These people, Im sure, see me as being this really confident, outgoing guy. Inside Im shy, nervous, anxious and fearful. My outside doesn't reflect my inside. This adds to more worry that Im rude! If people think Im rude, it's going to hurt any chance at possible friendships!

Any thoughts on what exactly is happening, and what I can do?

WE

[BeaFlower]

I think to understand. I too often wait to be 'invited' before joining a conversation, because I've fear that they actually don't want me. Sometimes even with friends. I think that it could be related to self-esteem.
A thing that helps me remembering that my friends do want me in the group is to fix in my mind at least an example of an episode in which they spontaneously asked me to do something together, or somehow shew pleasure to have me in the group/ in the conversation. So, when I think 'probably they don't want that I join' I can try to think to those moments.
This method isn't always enough, and it can't work with people that you don't know...but maybe it can help you a bit I hope so.