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#1
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Delete this
Last edited by A18793715; Nov 30, 2014 at 01:05 AM. |
#2
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I don't see why you should tell her. This isn't going to help anyone. You should make sure for your part this doesn't happen again, though. Good luck.
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#3
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I agree, I wouldn't tell her since its not happening now and it will only do harm but if he's cheating now with somebody and you're aware of it then maybe you can find a way for him to come clean? Nobody likes the messenger in this type of situation but if he won't come clean then if I were you I would tell her but she may not believe you and may end up upset with you instead of him. It's a tough call! If I were your friend in this situation I would want to know but who knows how she'll take it.
If it's just past stuff then I say let sleeping dogs lie but if it's current then it's a problem worth addressing. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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Dx: MDD, GAD, Panic Disorder Rx: None, too many side effects. |
#4
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Uh...sorry but...to the answerer before me, you don't see why she should tell her "best friend" that the man she's about to marry is unfaithful?
Lets just look at this situation logically for one second. If you decide to not tell her, she will be marrying a man who is clearly a cheater, a dirt bag, a man who cheats on her, a man who will cheat on her again. He is not faithful. What if you knew her car brakes were broken and you allowed her to drive her car on the freeway anyway? If so, then maybe the term "bestest friend" should not be used to describe your relationship anymore, because friends look out for each other and alert each other of dangers. That is after all the definition of a friend. Now, if my best friend told me about this, I would be more relieved that they had told me so that I would avoid marrying a scum bag. I would be less mad at my best friend and more mad at my soon to be husband. Again, however, I would be more RELIEVED that I averted marriage with such a man who would cheat on me with my best friend. If you keep quiet about this, she gets married to him, and they pop out a few babies, and he cheats on her again, and she finds out, guess what? Now they're divorced with young children. If she marries him and he cheats again, which he will, trust me, he will. They will divorce in a matter of a few years you can bet money on that. I would tell her. I would alert her that the man she's so in love with and banking on spending the rest of her life with, is a scum bag who doesn't have her best interest at heart. I hate when people say "Don't let them know they cheated, it won't help anyone, it'll just ruffle up the feathers." Excuse me? Uh, cheating ruffled up the feathers. I would rather KNOW.
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"Re-examine all you have been told, dismiss what insults your soul." - Walt Whitman "Never be a spectator of unfairness or stupidity. The grave will supply plenty of time for silence." - Christopher Hitchens "I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience." - Mark Twain |
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#5
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To the above poster, unless there is proof he's cheating now, it isn't helpful to the friend to bring up what happened in the past. My sense was that the op just wanted to relieve her conscience, not look out for her friend.
In the place of the friend, I might want to know too just so I could cut them both out of my life. But it would hurt horribly. So in fact if it didn't affect my relationship, I actually wouldn't want to know. |
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