[Artchic528]

Not sure whether or not this is an anxiety issue or not but I'm trying to get out more during the daytime, and found a couple of meetup.com groups about things I like (anime/manga and geeks).

Well, the first meetup I went to was fine. I even enjoyed it a little. However, the second was kind of awkward for me. I tried to become involved in the conversations, but the other members of the group were discussing anime/manga that I don't like, or even some I've never heard of. I haven't been to the third meeting because of a schedule conflict, and don't really have much interest in going to the 4th one.

Then, just now, I joined the geek club, but again I have the same lack of interest due to the same reason. It's that I keep on feeling very self conscious about myself, like I'm not geeky enough, or into anime/manga as the other members. Like I don't really belong in those groups. I guess its because they're such broad interests, and have so many genres involved in them that I don't feel I'm connecting with anybody.

I joined those groups to get out of the house and make new friends. So far no new friends. I'm not really all that excited about the Geek meetup (going to be watching the first two Hobbit movies back to back at a nearby theater), but I'm going to try and go anyways as I need to stop moping around the house all the time and do something with my time. It's what my therapist calls "activity scheduling" or some such thing.

Basically it's scheduling activities for me to due that will distract me from thinking about bad depressing thoughts. However, all I can think about is not connecting with these people in the upcoming movie watching event. Like somehow I'm not good enough...or like I said, not geeky enough.

I don't know if that's anxiety or just plain lack of confidence talking there, but I just want some like minded friends, or any friends for a change.

[gayleggg]

I had the same problems with groups I joined. People seemed nice but I just didn't feel comfortable. I think some of it could be anxiety related but for me some of it is related to the fact I try to mind read and usually find I think the other people see me negatively, which I think stems from my self-esteem.

[Fuzzybear]

[Artchic528]

Well I guess I don't have to worry about it after all....I have no means of transportation to the movie event....so yeah...I'm just going to plan to sit at home in front of my laptop and...I dunno...distract myself as best I can that way....