First of all, I used to get panic attacks most of the time when I was in my 20's. I'm in my 40's now and thanks to being on the right meds and leading a less stressful and healthier lifestyle, I rarely get them anymore! Anyways, my best friend of three years started getting panic attacks since she got diagnosed with type 2 diabetes last year.

She also is freaking out about her high blood pressure. She lost weight over the last few months and is eating better and avoiding sugar most of the time, so how could this still happen to her? Her diabetes is under control it seems like, but her blood pressure is high.

She has cancelled plans to go out with me twice at the last minute already and the last time I saw her in person, it was over two months ago. I also suspect that she is depressed still since her dad died back in May, then her other best friends mom died a few weeks later. She is living with her mom, unemployed, in the process of getting a divorce from this loser who cheated on her twice. She is stuck with him now due to a private issue and finances.

She is acting very odd now. I was hurt by her bizarre behavior when she told me not to come over to her place to drop off a Xmas gift. I NEVER said that I'd just drop by uninvited! I told her that she could come by my place to pick it up if she liked. She freaked out and told me that I'd just cause trouble for her which confused and hurt me. She didn't even text, call, or email me to wish me a Merry Christmas! Since she told me to not contact her until she gets better, so I didn't call her. She told me that she'd contact me when she's better.

BTW, she lives with a religious freak mom who she tends to fight with often. So that is the only reason that I can think of that made her freak out. Is she trying to push me away? She is anti-medicine too. I'm not sure if it's due to her religion or not. She's Christian. She is only taking meds that a Dr. tells her to. I told her to get on anti-anxiety meds, and I didn't hear back from her. She is very stubborn! She won't even take Midol for her period which is nuts I think! What should I do?

Does having high blood pressure and diabetes cause weird behaviour? How can I convince her to get on meds to stop these attacks?

[Crazy Hitch]

You're a great friend shy introvert for wanting to support your friend.

The world would be a better place if more people were as considerate of others needs as you are.

Be a friend who listens. You already are.

I'm sorry you're hurt over the Christmas incident. don't lose sight of the fact that she is struggling - and as cliche as it sounds - it's her issues she's dealing with, it's not a reflection on you.

Let her come to you when she is ready.

Send brief texts occasionally like thinking of you, so that she knows that you are. It doesn't mean that you will get a reply, but you're putting it out there.

Don't be offended by her rejecting your med suggestions. That's okay. She can kind of make up her own mind about that one. Again, you are trying to help but she will choose to do what she continues to feel is best for her.

Maybe she needs to see a therapist to help her deal with her issues. Some just don't believe in the med route.

Hey there! There is actually a medicine that helps with blood pressure and anxiety it is called Propranolol and belongs to the beta-blocker class of medications. Maybe you could suggest it to her.

However the approach that Hooligan is offering is spot on and I would like to echo it.

[CosmicRose]

Let her know that freaking out about high blood pressure is counter productive. If you freak out about high blood pressure...your blood pressure goes up. Be careful how you approach or talk to her because it sounds like she might be taking offense to whatever you say to her. Like when you said she should go on anti-anxiety medication - she could find that offensive just because she's going through a hard time and needs to take it out on someone. People end up taking out their frustrations on those closest to them.
It's okay if she wants space, sounds like she definitely needs it right now. Perhaps sending a card in the mail would be a better idea? Perhaps leaving the gift on her front door step is an idea? I'm not sure.
Sounds like she's dealing with a lot, health issues, unemployment, a difficult mother, and a divorce. I'm sure once all these things clear up, which might take awhile, she'll be feeling like her old self again and she'll contact you. People have two ways of coping during difficult times - surrounding themselves with support, or shutting everyone out completely. Seems like she's doing the latter.

Nothing you can really do other than just be there for her whenever she needs your support. Try not to be pushy about getting her help, because as much as you want to see her get better, she'll probably take offense to it. Some people are just like that.
Hopefully she's on medication for her diabetes and high blood pressure, because yes, my dad has both and if he's not taking care of himself he can become very moody and angry and just not himself, this is also exaggerated by stress. People with diabetes should not be stressed out, its very bad for them.
You know what, maybe calmly try to advise her on doing relaxation techniques such as yoga, meditation, massages, taking a hot bath every day, lighting candles or listening to ambiance music, taking 30 mins each day to sit quietly in a room with zero distractions, etc.
She can only help herself if she wants help.

Originally Posted by Hooligan

You're a great friend shy introvert for wanting to support your friend.

The world would be a better place if more people were as considerate of others needs as you are.

Be a friend who listens. You already are.

I'm sorry you're hurt over the Christmas incident. don't lose sight of the fact that she is struggling - and as cliche as it sounds - it's her issues she's dealing with, it's not a reflection on you.

Let her come to you when she is ready.

Send brief texts occasionally like thinking of you, so that she knows that you are. It doesn't mean that you will get a reply, but you're putting it out there.

Don't be offended by her rejecting your med suggestions. That's okay. She can kind of make up her own mind about that one. Again, you are trying to help but she will choose to do what she continues to feel is best for her.

Maybe she needs to see a therapist to help her deal with her issues. Some just don't believe in the med route.

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Thanks for your kind words- I'll send her a text on New Years Eve. I'll just keep it short and sweet and wish her a belated Merry Xmas and a Happy New Year's and that I'm hoping that she's OK. I'll let her come to me when she's ready to.

I'll wait to talk to her about meds and relaxation techniques when she's better. I'll only bring up one thing at a time, and if she reacts badly to what I have to say, I'll just drop it and let her deal with things in her own way. You know the old saying, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't force it to drink.

Originally Posted by blwi3310

Hey there! There is actually a medicine that helps with blood pressure and anxiety it is called Propranolol and belongs to the beta-blocker class of medications. Maybe you could suggest it to her.

However the approach that Hooligan is offering is spot on and I would like to echo it.

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Thanks so much for letting me know that! I'll tell her about that when she's not so stressed out! Hopefully she'll be open to taking it!

Originally Posted by CosmicRose

Let her know that freaking out about high blood pressure is counter productive. If you freak out about high blood pressure...your blood pressure goes up. Be careful how you approach or talk to her because it sounds like she might be taking offense to whatever you say to her. Like when you said she should go on anti-anxiety medication - she could find that offensive just because she's going through a hard time and needs to take it out on someone. People end up taking out their frustrations on those closest to them.
It's okay if she wants space, sounds like she definitely needs it right now. Perhaps sending a card in the mail would be a better idea? Perhaps leaving the gift on her front door step is an idea? I'm not sure.
Sounds like she's dealing with a lot, health issues, unemployment, a difficult mother, and a divorce. I'm sure once all these things clear up, which might take awhile, she'll be feeling like her old self again and she'll contact you. People have two ways of coping during difficult times - surrounding themselves with support, or shutting everyone out completely. Seems like she's doing the latter.

Nothing you can really do other than just be there for her whenever she needs your support. Try not to be pushy about getting her help, because as much as you want to see her get better, she'll probably take offense to it. Some people are just like that.
Hopefully she's on medication for her diabetes and high blood pressure, because yes, my dad has both and if he's not taking care of himself he can become very moody and angry and just not himself, this is also exaggerated by stress. People with diabetes should not be stressed out, its very bad for them.
You know what, maybe calmly try to advise her on doing relaxation techniques such as yoga, meditation, massages, taking a hot bath every day, lighting candles or listening to ambiance music, taking 30 mins each day to sit quietly in a room with zero distractions, etc.
She can only help herself if she wants help.

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Thanks for all of your helpful advice! For now, I'll only send her a short text on New Year's Eve. Since she mentioned not having gotten anything for anyone, and not caring about gifts, I think that she is embarrassed that she didn't get anyone anything. I told her that I wasn't expecting anything back, but I guess that she thinks I do!

Anyways, I'll wait until she's better to give her a card and the gift in person. If I do send her a card or leave it out there to where it can be either stolen or seen by her mom, her mom will ask her a ton of questions, and that is not something that she wants to deal with for sure.

You're right about what you said. When I get depressed, sometimes I want to be alone, but I still need to talk to someone or I'll go crazy! She is the type of person who doesn't like for other people to see her in a bad mood. She always tries to put on a happy face and smile all the time. I think that she's afraid of being seen as being "weak" or "needy", etc...It does seem like she just wants to be alone right now. So I won't contact her or give her any health advice for now.

I'll wait until she gets better and only mention one thing at a time. If she reacts negatively to anything that I say in person, then I'll just drop the subject and hope that she'll reconsider my advice and get the help that she needs sooner or later. I have to do this in person to gauge her reaction to me though. Sorry to hear about your dad-

Originally Posted by Shy Introvert

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Thanks so much for letting me know that! I'll tell her about that when she's not so stressed out! Hopefully she'll be open to taking it!

No problem at all

[CosmicRose]

Originally Posted by Shy Introvert

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Thanks for all of your helpful advice! For now, I'll only send her a short text on New Year's Eve. Since she mentioned not having gotten anything for anyone, and not caring about gifts, I think that she is embarrassed that she didn't get anyone anything. I told her that I wasn't expecting anything back, but I guess that she thinks I do!

Anyways, I'll wait until she's better to give her a card and the gift in person. If I do send her a card or leave it out there to where it can be either stolen or seen by her mom, her mom will ask her a ton of questions, and that is not something that she wants to deal with for sure.

You're right about what you said. When I get depressed, sometimes I want to be alone, but I still need to talk to someone or I'll go crazy! She is the type of person who doesn't like for other people to see her in a bad mood. She always tries to put on a happy face and smile all the time. I think that she's afraid of being seen as being "weak" or "needy", etc...It does seem like she just wants to be alone right now. So I won't contact her or give her any health advice for now.

I'll wait until she gets better and only mention one thing at a time. If she reacts negatively to anything that I say in person, then I'll just drop the subject and hope that she'll reconsider my advice and get the help that she needs sooner or later. I have to do this in person to gauge her reaction to me though. Sorry to hear about your dad-

I just saw your post signature - Cats ARE better than most people!

Cats sure are better than most people, lol!