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CosmicRose
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Chat Dec 28, 2014 at 03:08 AM
  #1
Do coping mechanisms get better as life goes on? Does it get easier? Does the anxiety start to dissipate? I've had anxiety issues for the past 8 years. I'm hoping it will get easier later in life. I have the rest of my life ahead of me, I'm in my 20s. I can only imagine me getting over this hiccup in my life one way or another. I cannot imagine myself being this neurotic in my 40s or 50s.

My parents both tell me it gets easier. They say that you eventually learn more about life through experiences, you survive lots of trials and tribulations, and you get stronger and stronger because of it. My dad says I will eventually outgrow anxiety and I simply won't have the energy to entertain such ideas anymore. I really hope so. I'm so tired of this useless anxiety disorder. It does nothing but get in my way.

It makes simple things look like huge obstacles. I'm sick of it. I really hope I just get so tired of it that one day I wake up and say to myself frankly my dear, I don't give a damn.

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Default Dec 28, 2014 at 03:28 AM
  #2
I wish I could answer your question first hand but alas I am also in my 20s. I believe life will get easier and harder it will depend a lot on what is going on. However I also believe that we learn as we get older and our coping mechanisms are stronger.
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Default Dec 28, 2014 at 06:30 AM
  #3
I do believe it gets better with age but I think you have to work at it. I don't believe it just happens on it's on, because I'm 62 and still have some anxiety. It's not as bad as it used to be but it's still there. I have spent years learning to use deep breathing to overcome anxiety attacks, but I use medication, too, at times that the breathing is not enough.

I came across this article on PsychCentral. You may have already read it.
9 Ways to Reduce Anxiety Right Here, Right Now

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Default Dec 28, 2014 at 07:23 AM
  #4
I am in my 40s and it has gotten worse lately. I think that is due to hormonal changes and changes in my life. I did have better times in my 30s. It's different for everyone I guess.
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Default Dec 29, 2014 at 08:04 PM
  #5
Quote:
Originally Posted by CosmicRose View Post
Do coping mechanisms get better as life goes on? Does it get easier? Does the anxiety start to dissipate? I've had anxiety issues for the past 8 years. I'm hoping it will get easier later in life. I have the rest of my life ahead of me, I'm in my 20s. I can only imagine me getting over this hiccup in my life one way or another. I cannot imagine myself being this neurotic in my 40s or 50s.

My parents both tell me it gets easier. They say that you eventually learn more about life through experiences, you survive lots of trials and tribulations, and you get stronger and stronger because of it. My dad says I will eventually outgrow anxiety and I simply won't have the energy to entertain such ideas anymore. I really hope so. I'm so tired of this useless anxiety disorder. It does nothing but get in my way.

It makes simple things look like huge obstacles. I'm sick of it. I really hope I just get so tired of it that one day I wake up and say to myself frankly my dear, I don't give a damn.
For me, it was a life-long battle with a combination of depression, anxious thoughts, and a negative self-image. Things began to shift for me in my mid/late 20's and by the time I was 30 my state of being had completely changed (transformed). I'm now finally free from that which had afflicted me. No more mental suffering - and it won't be returning....

I just want to emphasize that I possessed no foreknowledge that things were going to improve for me in the manner that they did. It wasn't even something I had anticipated or planned for (because I was feeling 'stuck' for most of my life) - it just unfolded as I continued to push myself forward. I offer this for anyone who might be feeling discouraged that they cannot envision their own healing - that's okay! It's important that you never give up the intention to refine yourself, and to never stop questioning the nature of things and to continually challenge yourself (your thinking, your perception, etc). You might not perceive how things are going to work out - however life has a way of surprising you with changes/developments, often times when they are least expected.

CosmicRose can I ask about the nature of your anxiety? (If you're comfortable sharing).

And I'm also curious if you have extensively explored any or many 'self help' type texts as it relates to this subject matter (and forgive me is the answer is a resounding YES).

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Default Dec 29, 2014 at 08:30 PM
  #6
Yes I listen to audio self help speakers on a daily basis, I've done a lot of self reflection and inner work. My anxiety comes from the same place as it always has, for 8 years I've been living with the exact same anxiety I've always felt and it hasn't gone away. My anxiety is focused around work and people, it used to be school related but now that I'm in my 20s its work related or college related. I thought it was social anxiety but I think its more than that, I think there's an underlying self esteem issue and I don't know why its there because I generally have good self esteem.

I can't really decipher my anxiety. I was diagnosed with GAD and PTSD from a traumatic childhood. I was raised with an alcoholic mom who I personally believe is undiagnosed bipolar. I grew up constantly fearing for my dad's life because he was in and out of hospitals with poor health. I lived with a sense of doom, as if the stability was going to be yanked out from under my feet and that's exactly what happened at age 14.
A few more years and a couple more traumatic experiences later, I still struggle with my footing and establishing my own personal stability.
I'm just really scared to go out in the world and make a name for myself in a career, it terrifies me to imagine going to work every day and I don't know why! Everyone has to! I fear workplace failure, getting fired, awkward social interactions, and doing a bad job or messing up or being embarrassed at work.

I'm really struggling right now to figure out a career and this is where my anxiety comes from, its all connected from even 8 years ago when this began happening. My anxiety was so bad at school I started homeschooling. I've daydreamed about starting my own business just so I can be in total control and stay mostly at home. I'm obviously running away from something, and that's no way to live life.

There's something about establishing work place relations and seeing the same people every day that freaks me out.
There's something about servicing people like customers that freaks me out. I have no idea why. It makes me want to just stay home.
I also have a tendency to push boyfriends away.

Sometimes I legitimately feel like I can't handle "life" in general, I can't handle constant stimulation and interaction, constant evaluations from others, politics. If I could find a job that required me to work mostly alone and I felt confident doing it, and wasn't constantly evaluated or whatever, I'd be happy. First I gotta go to college, and that's another hurdle. Everyone else seems to have no problems with these things. All my friends are so happy going to their jobs and moving up the career ladder, how are they so uninhibited and I'm feeling this stuck? Anyway that's the nature of my anxiety.
I have physical reactions to anxiety like hands shaking, feeling flustered during conversations, being a little awkward, I shouldn't be so low in self esteem because I love myself so I don't know where this fear of other's opinions, critique or reprimand, is coming from.

This sounds weird but if I had money and didn't have to work at all and was still financially set, I'd have zero anxiety in life. I'd do anything without anxiety, talk to people, everything. I think part of my anxiety comes from the fear of being "forced" to make a living, I know how strange that sounds but its something I've thought about a lot before. I think something about "having to" have a job and support myself with a job, the uncertainty that comes with it, is scary to me. To go a step further, even if I just had my own business and was successful, being my own boss, etc... I would have much less anxiety.

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"Re-examine all you have been told, dismiss what insults your soul." - Walt Whitman

"Never be a spectator of unfairness or stupidity. The grave will supply plenty of time for silence." - Christopher Hitchens

"I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience." - Mark Twain

Last edited by CosmicRose; Dec 29, 2014 at 09:00 PM..
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Default Dec 29, 2014 at 09:01 PM
  #7
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Originally Posted by CosmicRose View Post
Yes I listen to audio self help speakers on a daily basis, I've done a lot of self reflection and inner work. My anxiety comes from the same place as it always has, for 8 years I've been living with the exact same anxiety I've always felt and it hasn't gone away. My anxiety is focused around work and people, it used to be school related but now that I'm in my 20s its work related or college related. I thought it was social anxiety but I think its more than that, I think there's an underlying self esteem issue and I don't know why its there because I generally have good self esteem.

I can't really decipher my anxiety. I was diagnosed with GAD and PTSD from a traumatic childhood. I was raised with an alcoholic mom who I personally believe is undiagnosed bipolar. I grew up constantly fearing for my dad's life because he was in and out of hospitals with poor health. I lived with a sense of doom, as if the stability was going to be yanked out from under my feet and that's exactly what happened at age 14.
A few more years and a couple more traumatic experiences later, I still struggle with my footing and establishing my own personal stability.
I'm just really scared to go out in the world and make a name for myself in a career, it terrifies me to imagine going to work every day and I don't know why! Everyone has to! I fear workplace failure, getting fired, awkward social interactions, and doing a bad job or messing up or being embarrassed at work.

I'm really struggling right now to figure out a career and this is where my anxiety comes from, its all connected from even 8 years ago when this began happening. My anxiety was so bad at school I started homeschooling. I've daydreamed about starting my own business just so I can be in total control and stay mostly at home. I'm obviously running away from something, and that's no way to live life.

There's something about establishing work place relations and seeing the same people every day that freaks me out.
There's something about servicing people like customers that freaks me out. I have no idea why. It makes me want to just stay home.
I also have a tendency to push boyfriends away.

Sometimes I legitimately feel like I can't handle "life" in general, I can't handle constant stimulation and interaction, constant evaluations from others, politics. If I could find a job that required me to work mostly alone and I felt confident doing it, and wasn't constantly evaluated or whatever, I'd be happy. First I gotta go to college, and that's another hurdle. Everyone else seems to have no problems with these things. All my friends are so happy going to their jobs and moving up the career ladder, how are they so uninhibited and I'm feeling this stuck? Anyway that's the nature of my anxiety.
I have physical reactions to anxiety like hands shaking, feeling flustered during conversations, being a little awkward, I shouldn't be so low in self esteem because I love myself so I don't know where this fear of other's opinions, critique or reprimand, is coming from.

This sounds weird but if I had money and didn't have to work at all and was still financially set, I'd have zero anxiety in life. I'd do anything without anxiety, talk to people, everything. I think part of my anxiety comes from the fear of being "forced" to make a living, I know how strange that sounds but its something I've thought about a lot before. I think something about "having to" have a job and support myself with a job, the uncertainty that comes with it, is scary to me.
Will send a reply later on tonight.

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Default Dec 29, 2014 at 10:32 PM
  #8
I feel that you are very mature for your age! You have given me very wise and sensible replies to my posts. I'm 57 and right now I am extremely emotional due to hormonal changes of menopause, so I have terrible anxiety attacks, as well as depression. But when I was a child, I used to wake up every morning with a sense of dread. I was very depressed when I was in my late teens, and have tended to be depressed most of my life, but not as bad as in recent years. The anxiety has been bad before, but it also has grown worse in the past few years. I hope that once I get past menopause and things settle down hormonally, I will be calmer. (I hit menopause very late; most of my friends went through it when they were in their late 40s). We go through various stages during the course of our lives. Everything changes.

As for your friends being all "happy going to their jobs and moving up the career ladder, how are they so uninhibited" the answer is, they aren't. Everyone has these feelings of fear and anxiety, but most people are able to fake it and hide it. Believe me!!

I hope you can overcome your anxiety and move forward in a rewarding career.
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Default Jan 01, 2015 at 06:22 PM
  #9
Not really easier I think you just get used to it.

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Default Jan 02, 2015 at 10:29 PM
  #10
I like this question! I almost feel like I'm wasting my time worrying and my future self will just laugh and wonder why I ever wasted the energy! I'm in my late 20s and I'm not exactly sure how long I've been experiencing anxiety (maybe my teens?), but it's been really bad in the last 6 months.

I'm trying to build up my self-esteem and work on having better relationships with those around me. That's helped me a little. I've also spent some time reading self-help books and talking with a therapist. I plan on continuing these things because I find they definitely have helped me.

I'm glad you guys say it takes work. I find some evenings I just like to journal and read some of my self-help books. At times I think about what I'm doing and just laugh...but I have begun to better understand myself and have been kinder to myself- not putting such high expectations on myself to figure everything out right now.

Wow, ComicRose. Being able to handle life can seem overwhelming, especially since you've been suffering so long and have been through so much. Other people seem to have things together and make living life seem so easy, I agree. However someone told me the other day that we never know how much someone else is suffering. I know most people think I have it all together and figured out...little do they know :P
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