[Onyx999]

For the last several months, I've been avoiding looking at my bank account because I don't want to see how low it is. I've been working 7 days a week, 2 low wage jobs. I loaned money to a relatve 2 yrs ago when I moved up to NOVA, that interest is now piling up and the bank is sending me notices. My credit score has changed but I 'm too afraid to look at it. I owe a few thousand in back taxes to the government I've set up payments and that makes me worried.

I do pay most things on time (rent most utilities) but it's become a real issue here with me. I was working 2 low paying jobs 7 days a week for 4 months. Now I'm only working 1 job (sales with commission if you do well). Im worried about not making my commission and not having enough money for the bills next month. I avoid going to the mail box because theres bills and notices there.

I've been searching for years for a decent paying job that my professional experience can get me. I even moved states twice in hopes of getting one. I keep trying, but so far it hasn't happened.

Is there a n ame for phobia about paying bills. I have never been this bad before. I always had good credit because I was careful. Now I don't know what's happening to me.

[gayleggg]

I don't know if there is a name for it, but I have it, too. I had to retire earlier this year and am only getting about half of my salary in disability income. I hate seeing the bills come in and I hate looking at my bank account, as if sticking my head in the sand will make more money appear. My credit is still good so far but I don't know for how long, with the medical bills and the cost of medication.

I'm sorry you are having such a tough time, but I do understand where you are coming from.

[Frankbtl]

Hi Onyx, there might be an actual name for a linked phobia, but I'd say that your stress/anxieties were understandable without a name put to them
Just for now know you've got help if.........(found you this link):
Credit counseling Texas
Now might be really scary but it may well help if you find out exactly what the score/your financial situation is.............it might be better than you think in which case relief.......but if it isn't at least you're going to know and be better prepared, and be able to answer some of those letters which may need answering.
But if it comes to it........people were to want more money than you can afford.......most places are going to know that it's going to be in their best interests to make arrangements with you to get something regularly rather than taking it further, it taking longer and them potentially getting very little or nothing. So you are going to be in a stronger situation than you maybe think there anyway.
So a little organization, a little support..........and keep on rolling out those job applications or CV's, hey?? Just any "stop gap" jobs while you're applying for better paid ones.
And I know the anxieties aren't just going to go away..........but maybe spot when they're becoming a problem more and get in there with some breathing exercises, more factual/helpful mantras, relaxation, grounding techniques...........???

Alison

[Onyx999]

Originally Posted by gayleggg

I don't know if there is a name for it, but I have it, too. I had to retire earlier this year and am only getting about half of my salary in disability income. I hate seeing the bills come in and I hate looking at my bank account, as if sticking my head in the sand will make more money appear. My credit is still good so far but I don't know for how long, with the medical bills and the cost of medication.

I'm sorry you are having such a tough time, but I do understand where you are coming from.

Thanks so much I appreciate your and all your responses.

[WantToGrow]

I got myself into hot water financially years ago due to avoidance as well. Everyone's advice above is great! I suffer a similar kind of phobia with regards to disappointing people with regards to phone calls, messages, texts, emails...If I disappoint someone or get them mad at me for some reason, I become incredibly stressed about any communication that may come from them to where I won't answer calls, listen to messages from them, read their texts or emails, etc. because I fear what they're going to say. Tonight I had to have my husband read some texts from someone along those lines....I had a big falling out with a "friend" back in October and to this day I still can't look at the texts she flung at me because I know there will be ugliness in them. I already feel badly about myself and just can't face having someone add to it.

I hope you can something going to where you can slowly get those financial obligations satisfied, even just a little bit each month, because it will make you feel better to finally address it. I know how hard it can be to face those scary things waiting for you (in the mailbox), but you may be blowing it up to be worse in your mind than it really is. Is there someone who can do it with you? I wish you peace :-)

[sherbet]

Thank you so much for starting this thread! I did the very same thing. I feel completely incapable of handling unpleasant conversations so every time I see a call from an 800 number I start panicking…who's calling? What do they want? I see a letter and I don't know what unpleasant information is inside it so I don't read it. It's almost a fear of the unknown coupled with social and financial anxiety (if that's a thing)…whenever I do finally open it and I read the bad news I find I can handle it. I also never paid bills late before…now I feel too anxious to log on and the knowledge that I'll have to check my account that day plagues me so much I put it off. I was also very financially responsible before this happened and had excellent credit (I had a relatively high-paying job and a retirement account at 23!) but I just imploded after a bad incident a couple years ago and I've been living off my savings and really struggling with coping ever since.

Here's something I learned that I wish I knew earlier: if you say this has been going for several months and you had payed consistently on time before this set in, know that many credit card and financial institutions have some allowance…some don't report a delinquency until it's more than 60 or even 90 days past due for instance, not 30. They might have cut you some slack at this point. I know this is more easily said than done but if you do something now it won't be as bad as if you continue to build it up and drive yourself crazy for say, a year, like I did.

[ManOfConstantSorrow]

I call this a species of catastrophising: What is Catastrophizing? | Psych Central

I respectfully suggest that you are avoiding looking into your finances because in your mind they are already a form of catastrophe. Of course in a rational world they may or may not be a catastrophe - probably not if you look into it and plan accordingly.

Declaration of interest: Catastrophising runs strong in me.