I am always afraid (how to cope with being nervous,shy and afraid)

I wish I could express myself fully here but that would make this post too long so I will try to make it as detailed and short as I can

As a child I have always been quite timid, not overly but timid enough. I don't know if it's because I was raised with over protective parents but I am what you can call a late bloomer in terms of learning things I should have at an early age. I was never the rebel, always respected and obeyed my parents and pretty much a stay at home teen.

With that being said, I am now 23 years old and I am in that stage of my life where I am learning,exploring and living life on my own (well, next to my husband). We moved to a different state, I don't have any family or friends really here but that's not my worry. My worries is my way of being. I am constantly feeling afraid.

For instance, my husband taught me how to drive last year. And I already have my license but I am deeply afraid of driving. I constantly get panic attacks, I have to drive most likely by myself next week and I feel so nervous just thinking about it. My husband has been there for me, I should prove to him and to myself that I am able to take the car and do the groceries by myself. Even his mom, I know she talks about it how I am always locked inside the house and how everyone tells me to go out there and do my life. Loose the fear of driving. I have drove before but with him next to me, in fact we actually moved closer to his job so I can take the car and go to school, do my errands. But I am soooo afraid of it, my mind tens to blank out when I feel afraid..and constantly thinking of doing it on my own , making a mistake I wish I could write a whole essay about this feeling.

Aside from that, there's the regular nervousness I encounter throughout the days. I've become real clumsy and just anxious. It is everything I DON'T wish to be.

I can be home alone which I am 90% of the time, I am okay with it..but if I hear a noise I am constantly checking or thinking about someone breaking in (This is not normal). I even do things like lower down the tv volume just so my neighbors won't mind the noise (why do I care so much!)

Then there's talking to other people, I sort of stutter or do it nervously at times. I don't trust many people and sometimes feel if I am alone and see a man I think that he wants to do something to me.

I wish I was more easy going,relaxed,social and free. I have always wanted to feel free..when I lived with my parents I wasn't allowed to do much, they were so protective and now that I am at the most liberal stage of my life, I restrain myself. I hold back from doing things I want to do. I have always described my teen years as feeling like I lived inside of a bubble..I guess now that I am finally outside of that bubble it is difficult for me. Should I see a psychologist?

I guess at the moment my constant fears that I think about daily are as listed;
Driving
Going out by myself
Speaking and expressing myself to others
Getting lost by myself
Afraid of what others think about me
Having something negative happen to me or someone I know and care for

I mean, it gets to the point where I even avoided going outside because it snowed so much and I was afraid of falling on the ice and having someone see me fall (seriously!) Last weekend my husband got sick and he felt like going to the hospital and all I thought about was (I dont want to drive at night because I am too scared)

Because negative thoughts just adds to all this. I try to think positive but there's that dark side that always reminds me of my fears and how I fail to confront them at times. Maybe it's because I am not a confident person, I don't trust myself to handle certain situations when deep inside I know I can do well and better than what I assume.

Oh, and I work at home (office work) so it's not like socialize :/

I visualize myself as someone who can depend on herself a strong confident woman who isn't afraid to speak her mind. Able to get up in the morning and jog, or drive the car to the nearest mall just to look around or buy things for the house. I see myself driving to school by myself and working hard for a degree,socialize with others at school and just having an interesting time. Perhaps, driving to a small coffee shop for lunch. Taking a friend home. Drive freely and happily dispite of the traffic horrors.

Being able to have kids and defend them and have them look up to me. Being home alone and play music without having to worry about hearing noises. Getting out of my apartment without worrying about someone being behind me.

Just being careless,free and confident. -sigh-

Sorry, I made this thread way too long.

CrystalSteph, I can relate to EVERYTHING you just posted about! I also grew up with overly protective parents and was a very obedient daughter...now that I'm married and living with my husband, I still don't feel like I have the freedom to do all the things I've ever wanted to do because my anxiety holds me back greatly...I also have an extreme fear of driving, I could write a very long list of all the things that I worry about when it comes to driving...feel free to pm me if you would like to talk more, I'm here for you friend

but I think going to see a therapist would be a great first step...I'm in the process of getting started with therapy but I have done it before and it truly helps! Based off of your last post, I see that you have great goals & the desire to live the life you want....I think that with the help of a therapist and supportive people in your life, you'll be able to reach your goals

It makes my heart soo happy to know I am not alone and that you can relate! I think at times we feel we are alone since most people that surrounds us probably have already accomplished what we are yet trying to . I would def consider seeking a therapist for that extra boost!

P.s. I am going to pm you for sure and feel free to do so as well whenever you feel that you need to express yourself! Thank you so much