[mrmuscle1992]

Hey everyone,

I’m a 22 year old male university student from Australia in search of advice concerning some problems I have been experiencing. I was diagnosed with depression when I was 16 and have been taking prescribed antidepressants since then. For the majority of the time I was using Lexapro (which worked well until recently), but have also used 5-6 other medications over the period of several years including Prozac, Cymbalta and Effexor with limited success.

As of late, my symptoms have worsened. I believe I have developed social anxiety/social phobia since I have become a lot less social and my levels of confidence are completely in the gutter. Since I’m a very social, outgoing and extroverted person by nature that takes pride in their appearance and was formerly praised by friends for my confidence, I’m struggling to believe how this is happening to me.

I strongly dislike participating in social situations now and will even go as far to avoid talking on the telephone if at all possible. I am completely fine with those known to me, but if I am interacting with strangers or people I am unfamiliar with, I become anxious and struggle to express myself (prior to this I had great verbal fluency). I feel this is becoming a self-perpetuating cycle, since I anticipate a negative outcome in advance and subsequently avoid the situation, leading to a further deterioration of social skills.

I believe this is somewhat attributed to working in a warehouse for the past 4 years where chatter was discouraged and the work was fully independent, in addition to changing degrees at uni, which caused me to lose a lot of existing friends from my classes. As a result, my levels of social interaction have significantly declined and I feel that I have become isolated. I struggle to make new friends and become close with anyone too.

I’m not sure whether I am suffering from one or several different conditions here, but whilst I wait to see my GP for a referral to a psychologist and have my situation evaluated by a professional, I would be so thankful for any help you guys could provide.
Thanks in advance.

[CosmicRose]

It's okay, do not make yourself feel worse by judging yourself or thinking you should be feeling/acting a certain way. You're 22 and you're in university, you are probably going through a personality change right now, our 20s are full of them. You're discovering who you are, what you like, what you dislike, what your goals are, what your fears are, and these all can shift years from now or months from now.

You are feeling the primal fear of being independent and on your own fully, and venturing out into the world like our ancestors did once they left their people and wandered into an unknown territory to create their own independence.

Maybe you've been forced all these years to socialize, and you're starting to realize that you don't like it much. It's okay to feel fear, but don't let it snowball into something that means more than it does. The fact is, many many people feel some apprehension in social settings - others do not, but they might have their own fears that you don't have.

So the key is to be kind to yourself and tend to your own emotional well being. Let it be okay that you're feeling a certain way, and do not judge yourself for it. Give yourself compassion and free range to feel any way. You might want to practice some stress-relieving techniques on a daily basis such as yoga, meditation, conscious awareness (which basically means being aware of your thoughts and feelings but not attaching to them), doing hobbies that boost your self esteem and provide yourself with a sense of independence, or having friends over for a few hours to stimulate your social skills.

We have to be social every day because we live in a society, so in a way, this fear that you have (that I also share) is a little silly but it feels very real. The truth is, we've been socializing since the day we were born, it's something we know how to do and we do it naturally just by standing in line at the grocery store or asking a stranger for directions. All social interactions don't have to be any more anxiety inducing than that, treat every social situation as light and not that important.
Take the pressure off of yourself.
You might also have a bit of a perfectionist personality, because lots of people with social anxiety are perfectionists.

[mrmuscle1992]

@CosmicRose

Thank you so much for the kind words and support. It means a lot to me. I am a perfectionist actually, that was really good guess! I know that I really need to improve my communication skills, moreso in person than in writing to be successful in my chosen career pathway. I have recently broken up with my partner of 2.5 years and I am also in the process of moving 200km away from my home town to the capital city for purposes of study, where I have no family or friends and need to be adequately equipped to make new friends and meet people. I live a pretty stressful lifestyle to say the least.

[wing]

Originally Posted by mrmuscle1992

@CosmicRose

Thank you so much for the kind words and support. It means a lot to me. I am a perfectionist actually, that was really good guess! I know that I really need to improve my communication skills, moreso in person than in writing to be successful in my chosen career pathway. I have recently broken up with my partner of 2.5 years and I am also in the process of moving 200km away from my home town to the capital city for purposes of study, where I have no family or friends and need to be adequately equipped to make new friends and meet people. I live a pretty stressful lifestyle to say the least.

I think your mind is protecting you from overload by pulling back from the stress associated with all the things you are going through. I have diagnosed social anxiety, and I know when I go on overload for any reason, the first thing to go is my ability to function in a social situation.

Be kind to yourself. Allow yourself the alone time you need to process all the changes mentioned above. Maybe avoiding people is channelling that energy into other areas that demand your attention right now.