[oneironaut]

Last summer there was a major change going on in my household and already being subject to extreme anxiety I was under an unusually heavier amount of stress. One day I walked to the drug store to get myself a soda and when I was walking back it hit me like a ton of bricks: back spasms shooting up and down my spine.

My brother was about to move out, some several hundred miles away and it was upsetting me, and as I usually do, I stuff the feelings down deep inside-- something I've done all my life. Almost never have I told the truth to a psychotherapist. The last time I did, I wound up inpatient in the psyche ward of a hospital for a week. But this, the pain was unreal.

You know how if you go to the emergency room for an injury they ask you "on a scale from one to ten, one being benign, negligible, ten being the worst pain imaginable, how much does it hurt?" The highest I've ever had to answer was seven and that was for chest pains brought on by a panic attack I had at a job many years ago. These back spasms were a ten. I actually fell over, I thought I'd been shot.

I managed to get home where I lied down until I was able to walk again, but for the next two weeks I had to walk with a cane because my back kept twitching and this pain sent shockwaves up and down my spine. They receded almost completely after three weeks with "aftershocks" here and there. Lately I've been getting them, again-- back on the ten level. I'm not sure if they're back spasms or something else. I told my psychiatrist (not psychotherapist) about it and he said it could be caused by intense anxiety and he gave me some muscle relaxant that did very little to ease the pain.

Is it really possible that my anxiety/depression can attack me physically in the manner I've described?

[sideblinded]

Yes, it is a possibility but I think it is time to see your doctor. Just because we have anxiety does not mean that all of our ailments are produced by our psych issues. It wouldn't hurt to get a medical cause ruled in or out. Then you will have the anxiety about whether it is anxiety taken care of. I hope that you get this figured out and good luck.

[oneironaut]

Originally Posted by sideblinded

Yes, it is a possibility but I think it is time to see your doctor. Just because we have anxiety does not mean that all of our ailments are produced by our psych issues. It wouldn't hurt to get a medical cause ruled in or out. Then you will have the anxiety about whether it is anxiety taken care of. I hope that you get this figured out and good luck.

I'm terrified of doctors, so much so that I don't even have a "General Practitioner" or a "main doctor," you know, the kind that does physicals and writes recommendations. I've been meaning to get one for the longest time, but I keep putting it off because I'm terrified of doctors' offices waiting rooms-- I think it has something to do with the fact that I spent a great deal of my childhood in them, more so than even with the doctors themselves.

The thought of that uncomfortable late afternoon sun shining in the windows on those carpets that look like they were ripped out of the hallways of the sets from The Shining, the hopelessly outdated magazines on the coffee tables covered in scratches and bitemarks from God knows what... the TV playing the same six infomercials over and over again, just the thought of it makes my muscles contract right now.

Could you go to a massage therapist? Most of them don't make you wait long, if all.

If you make an appointment with one, be sure to tell them what's going on with you. You need a GOOD massage therapist.

A good one won't be able to fix you in one visit, but they will help some (or a lot) and they won't make you worse. They also know a lot about the musculature of the body and might have some suggestions about exercises or other things you can do to help your back.

If your back problems ARE coming from anxiety & tension, it usually builds up over time and then the spasms can be triggered by a strong emotion.

I may be totally off-base here.

I have had my neck muscles spasm during therapy when I was talking about something emotionally painful.

I have not been exercising or stretching or being very active lately and that adds to my muscle stiffness.

You don't have to get a whole body massage if you don't want. You can get just your neck and back done.

I hope you find some relief.