[Keyslost]

So I'm getting around to talking about things that I should have mentioned a long time ago but never trusted anyone. So now that I'm comfortable here I will begin. I believe that a majority of my anxiety and sleep problems stem from me failing my test for licensing. Some part due to the actually failure but also there's a deeper portion.

I'm afraid of what my "friends" will say to me when they see me again knowing that it has taken me a year to get myself back on track. This particular group can be very judgmental. I have grown away from them but will be seeing a lot of them at a wedding. I can hear their questions in my head every night about why I didn't try harder or what's wrong with me or why I'm not working in my intended field or all that money I wasted etc etc. If I do go and this does happen I'd like to flip the bird and tell them to f themselves (probably not healthy or positive especially at a wedding). This fear of mine is all consuming I feel, and I have already retaken and refailed the test due to lost sleep from anxiety.

I did not sleep at all and really struggled only to have my fears realized. Now I will not give up and will retake a third time ~ June 10th. I am afraid of failing yet again and perpetually letting my understanding friends (the good ones) and family down. It does not help that my dad's gf is a total b and loves talking crap about this behind my back b/c up until this point I excelled at school and work and her kids did not.

I would love for all these people who give me such a hard time to walk for a day in my shoes and laugh at them as they fall (metaphorically). This is an awful way to think and I wish I could be as happy and positive as I used to be. Thanks to all who read any or all of this I needed to get it off my mind for soooo long.

[Crazy Hitch]

I'm sorry to hear that you've run into judgmental friends.

We all go through hard times.

It does not matter how long it has taken to bounce back from the set back of your drivers.

You've progressed now.

Going for your licence is stressful at the best of times.

Have you got some really good relaxation aps?

I'd highly recommend some early morning meditation when you wake up on the day.

Stay relaxed and grounded in the moment.

Please don't worry too much about what others think.

It is not relevant.

Best wishes.

[Keyslost]

Thx Hooligan amd Jo! I have not tried morning before I'll give that a shot!