[boydisappearing]

I have had anxiety my whole life. A doctor recently recommended referral to the anxiety services here, but my psychiatrist didn't end up referring me because she said it would take too long. Sometimes I feel like I'm really good at fooling people that I'm not anxious.

For example, I just had a conversation with my neighbour - we talk every time we run into each other. It was a normal conversation, he wanted to know what I was up to this summer, we chatted about our jobs, he said he'd e-mail me something.

But inside all I want to do is hide in my house and never come out. I skip so many social events because I just can't bring myself to go to them. But I can walk into a store and ask for something, or have 5 minute conversations with neighbours. It took a lot of work to get to this point. When I was younger, I couldn't even make a phone call without writing out what I was going to say. I remember trying to call the library about a job when I was a teenager and I was just in tears because I couldn't do it, so my dad wrote me a script to say with smiley faces everywhere.

How do you manage the duality of being able to fake it? If anyone gets what I mean?

[elevatedsoul]

i fake it really well too
they call me High functioning
i dont know how i do it, living 2 separate lives

[A Red Panda]

This sounds sooooooooooooooo much like me.

I try to be open about at least some of my anxieties - if I think someone else will understand or benefit from me sharing with them. I find that it helps me because if I need the moral support or actual support I can look for that sometimes.

I also allow myself the opportunity to bail on events or stuff if I'm feeling anxious about it - I'm actually doing that right now, haha. I'm supposed to be at BBQ but I've bailed because the person hosting it was going to come and pick me up... and then take me shopping to get something to take TO it... and he puts a lot of effort into making things, and I didn't want to feel horrible just bringing something store-bought. I don't let myself do this all the time, and when I do there is usually another reason as well (such as the fact that I slept terribly last night and just woke up from a two hour long nap).

I try to forgive myself for when I do bail or cave in to the anxiety - if I bail on something, it's usually after weighing the pros and cons. If I'm going to feel even worse in the long run for not going, then I'll usually push myself. But if I'm just going to end up anxious and remain that way, when I could stay at home and do something that would alleviate the anxiety... then it's best to do that for myself.

Hope that makes sense!

Do you find that your anxiety gets less over time as you keep on "faking it"? (or I might call it "practicing social interactions")

Just curious. If it doesn't get any more comfortable, that sounds really...uncomfortable. Yikes. Therapy. Meds or herbal remedies?

[boydisappearing]

It doesn't get better with practice. Certain life events and my general mental health can make it feel better or worse, but practice doesn't make perfect in this case.

I would love therapy if I could find it. Herbal remedies help.

I do that thing where I allow myself to bail if staying home is better, but sometimes I feel bad about it.

fake it till you make it is a philosophy many people follow, however it doesn't work for me. being honest with people and accepting my anxiety disorder for what it is has really helped me.

'it is what it is.' simple quote, but that basically sums it up.

[elevatedsoul]

yeah faking it till you make it doesnt seem to work for me either

no matter what its still there, i just push forward, even though uncomfortably.... maybe ill find something that works for it some day