I made plans with a friend on Saturday and another on tuesday and now i'm regretting it massively. I'm having panic attacks, going hot and cold, feeling dizzy and shaking, i don't want to see them, i just want to stay at home and curl up in a ball and cry.

I don't know how to make this better. I don't know how to help myself or soothe myself. I know i shouldn't cancel on them and i won't but that doesn't stop this paralysing, excruciating anxiety.

[IrisBloom]

Maybe it would help to have a back-up plan. Is there someone you could depend on to come get you and take you home if you suddenly decide you can't stay out? I know that would make me feel much better about going out.

[berthegel]

Hello , is it the environment your meeting in ? Causing you stress, or seeing your friend ?
Or both ?
Your friend obviously likes you else they wouldn't want to see you

it's the idea of seeing them... like social anxiety... i'm not really a person who enjoys being around people and i'd rather be at home or doing my own thing.

[nyancola]

i feel you so much. i have become less and less of a people person and i really never was much of one.

plans always sound great until the day of, then all you want to is stay home.

Do you remember past hangouts with your friends as happy memories? Anxiety sometimes makes us think we don't want something when in reality we actually do. i cancel on a lot of things but when i dont... most of the time i am glad i went. other times not so much but its usually never as bad as the dreading to leave the house to see them. the dread is something like 3X worse than the actual outing.

also dont be so hard on yourself about canceling. that alone can make you more anxious and more likely to cancel. give yourself a break you have social anxiety, if you need/really want to cancel that is OKAY. if you dont give yourself that option you may feel forced and that wont help.

[CosmicRose]

Just wanted to let you know that you aren't alone. I went on a date last night and the entire time I was getting ready I kept thinking I should cancel. Even up until the point when I was doing my hair, I was still contemplating whether or not I should go. I'm super tired today because I stayed out way later than I planned, and I feel kind of groggy and hungover. Next time I go out I'm going to do things differently, but overall I had a fun time. If you want to cancel, you certainly can. Tell them you aren't feeling well, which wouldn't be a lie technically. If you do want to go, then just commit to that decision and have fun with it. Worst case scenario, you'll just end up coming back home which is fine. Your friends like you and I'm sure they will be very understanding. You can even tell them you've been having anxiety this week and they might even say something similar or they might give you advice. Either way you will be fine and each outcome is going to work out regardless.

[berthegel]

Are you a home type person ? Annaflower?

Couldn't you Skype your friend?

[RisuNeko]

I have this problem to a certain degree. I make plans with friends and then back out at the last minute because of anxiety, and I dread it all week even though I like my friends and I've known my two best friends for 22 years (I'm 25). I know they will be understanding of however I act and I know I'll act just fine, it's just the idea of it, and the uncertainty of plans changing etc. I get flighty. I haven't seen my best friends more than 3 times a year for the past 3 years (I like to tell myself it's because of work and school, but surely I can make time for these people that I love). I want to make the situation better, but they're hard to get ahold of and make plans with and they're kind of flaky too, so things always fall apart. I want things to be how they used to be when we all lived together, I was a much more fulfilled person even though I was depressed most of that time due to my bipolar.