[barelycoping16]

I'm in a horrible Panic/OCD cycle right now. I am newly disagnosed with OCD which is a relief to know that there is a name for this however, I am having so much trouble coping right now. I just started taking Fluoxamine and also take Klonopin to help manage. What's really killing me are the "what ifs" and the fact that I feel I can't trust my own mind.

For example, I was checking out an abandoned place with a friend the other day and taking pictures. There were some shotgun shells on the floor. I am almost positive that I did not pick them up as I usually touch nothing. Later, at home, I began thinking "What if I did pick up those shells? What if someone comes along later and takes them and uses them to commit a crime? My finger prints would be on them and they would blame me. Then I will go to jail and not be able to be with my kids."

I can't seem to shake this fear. My compulsion is to go back and take the shells and dispose of them so that no one would be able to use them for anything bad. I just can't seem to let it go.

Do I give in to my compulsion and make my husband go drive me out to get them or do I try to believe that I didn't touch them?

I'm so tired of second guessing myself over everything and not believing anything. I know my family is getting tired of it too. I just feel so lost and helpless.

[nyancola]

Don't go back and get the shells. they would need more than finger prints to pin a crime on you, like motive etc.

when we panic all we want to do is try to fix it. and we will come up with ideas of things that we think will fix it and then feel like we MUST do that thing, because we MUST feel better. anxiety is terrible and we trick ourselves into thinking that its actually tied to the current situation.

there is nothing about those shells that is going to take you away from your kids, please dont worry. just know that your fear reflects a really good quality in you, that you really love your kids. try not to let anxiety use that good quality against you.

have you tried therapy or medication? sometimes just getting a break from the anxiety can put things back into perspective and help you to go back to a more rational state of mind.

and in reality you probably didnt pick up those shells, but even if you did you really shouldnt worry at all, they arent going to condemn you for someone else's crime. i hope you see that not giving into the ocd by not going back as a small victory, and i hope that shows you youre capable of more victories over the anxiety.

[barelycoping16]

I started on Fluoxamine but it has only been 3 days. I was taking Prozac but it seemed to have very little effect. I also take Neurontin and Klonopin to try and cope through everyday.

I spoke to my father who is a lawyer and he said that even if I touched the shells it wouldn't be enough to get me arrested. However, he did have my husband go back and get the shells and my dad would take them to the police department just because they are a public hazard where children could get to or in the case of a fire, could explode and hurt first responders. I, however, didn't go with my husband and my husband is taking them straight to my dad's office so that my dad can turn them in.

[Trosky6708]

This type of thinking happens to me a lot. Just a chain reaction of one thought linking to another and then another. Like what nyancola said "we will come up with ideas of things that we think will fix it and then feel like we MUST do that thing, because we MUST feel better. anxiety is terrible and we trick ourselves into thinking that its actually tied to the current situation."

I usually have to always fix the problem asap or I feel terrible. Sometimes me fixing things just causes more chain reactions though. It's kind of a toss up sometimes.