[black_hole]

I was in a store with my mom today and she offered to buy something, but there was nobody else in the store and I felt like the cashier and the saleswoman was looking at me. So I felt anxious and left. Later on I told my mom that I wanted to go back and buy something and explained her that I felt anxious in places where not a lot of people are around. She laughed and asked me how I was going to be a lawyer with a fear like this.
Like the feeling of unimportantness wasn't enough, we came to the cashier at another market and her card was declined. Then it was declined two more times. I felt so ashamed and angry. I had to pay for the things that we bought, but the money on my card was emergency money that my boyfriend gave me because he kind of knows about our situation. I will star working probably two months later, and that will be it. My days of school will be long gone. All I wanted for this summer was to be relaxed and happy, go to the beach frequently. But the beaches and pools cost money. I had money but I had to give it to my mom for payments. Now all I have left is my boyfriend's money which I didn't want to spend, but if I don't spend it I will be broke and won't even be able to afford a cup of ice cream the whole summer. I feel so bad. I know I am responsible for all this debt because I was the one who wanted to buy this house, but the fact is I can't live without it. There was no other choice. I'm going to start working soon anyway, my life as I know it will be over. Why can't I spend my last holiday in peace with a little bit more money? Is that too much to ask?

[CANDC]

Sorry you are feeling so upset and uncertain about things. Glad you have joined our community. I find Psych Central helps me find answers where before there were only questions. There is so much here. It is like a buffet of help, everyone picks what they like the best.

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