[AnxietyMaster]

No I can't be calmed with reassurance.

No, it's not because of my (insert xyz).

Yes, I've tried self talk. Myself doesn't listen.

Yes, I've tried meditation. No, I can't sit still for that long.

Yes, my hand is shaking, and no I'm not cold.

No, I can't change my diet because of (insert co morbid disorder such as IBS).

What do people tell/ask you? This drives me crazy because they don't understand that my fears are irrational. I know they won't happen, but I still worry for no reason.

Meh.

[Kaylord]

Oh god! I freaking hate talking to people about my anxiety just because I know they are going to give me some useless advice. I know it comes from a good place, but unless they're in my head, they will never understand.

I know everything well be okay.
I know I should focus these thoughts on something productive.
I know that I should see a therapist again.

I know!!!!!

Hahaha, damn! Sorry, I totally just ranted, lol.

I really do believe that overcoming our anxieties is a journey we must take alone. Which sucks!

[electricbipolargirl]

"Yes, I've tried self talk. Myself doesn't listen."-Anxiety Master

Haha! That made me laugh!!

The other day, I was putting all my meds into the weekly holder, and my 14-year-old son asks why do I take medicine. And I told him, "Do you remember when I was crying all the time? Well, these medicines help me not to cry anymore. You've noticed the difference, right?" And he said yes. Then he says, "But can't you just clench your fists and be tough and not let yourself cry?" That took me way by surprise and I had to explain that my crying is different from other people's crying. Mine is caused by a chemical imbalance caused by my bipolar that can only be helped by medicine. I cannot control it by myself and that's ok. He seemed to accept that and we went on about our business. But I was like, "Please, God, do not let this young man grow up to tell mentally ill people to just tough it out." I know he was just trying to help me, but just well, no. He hasn't said anything since, so I hope what I said sank in.

[Nike007]

I know that people tell me to stop worrying. Also that it's all in my head. Mainly the cliche things. I have been told exercising and dieting will solve all my anxiety problems, and I wish I could say that's not how the human brain works.

One time I had a panic attack because of social anxiety issues (this was because I was always triggered to have a panic attack after this one song I played in my band and if we played it last, I would have a major panic attack. I explained this to my music teacher, but not my band teacher, so he played it last. Panic attack and my music teacher helped me) and I felt that she wanted to say calm down (my entire body shakes after a panic attack. It's terrible). She seems to have some understanding about it, so she didn't.

Sometimes I think it's a difference between what we know and what we think. We know that person A can't control having a panic attack, but we may think he can and is doing for attention (not me, but some people might). People won't really understand unless they have experienced something similar.

[OneInBillions]

I find it funny that my parents just kind of ignore it. Maybe they've lived with me so long that they know it's the only way to deal with me or something. Or maybe they just don't know what to do or say.

But really, I'm totally isolated and unemployed and they never even mention it. They never seem to worry that I don't get along well with others, or that I never go out, or that I don't have friends, or that I never date. They never say anything about my anxiety or depression.

Sometimes I wonder if they care at all, or if maybe they just don't understand or don't accept mental illness as "real."

[AnxietyMaster]

Originally Posted by OneInBillions

I find it funny that my parents just kind of ignore it. Maybe they've lived with me so long that they know it's the only way to deal with me or something. Or maybe they just don't know what to do or say.

But really, I'm totally isolated and unemployed and they never even mention it. They never seem to worry that I don't get along well with others, or that I never go out, or that I don't have friends, or that I never date. They never say anything about my anxiety or depression.

Sometimes I wonder if they care at all, or if maybe they just don't understand or don't accept mental illness as "real."

Trust me, they care. They may just not know how to approach the subject. Maybe ask them why they think you don't do xyz. You might end up horribly offended, in which case just say ok how can I calmly tell them how I feel, or you might end up finding some support in a place you've never had it before. Either way, you might find some answers. Also, try to ease into a conversation like this. It might be hard for them to tell you truthfully what they think, such as not believing in mental illness, in which case you calmly try to sway their opinion.

Sorry if I totally miss with my advice, giving advice is a hit or miss ordeal.

Originally Posted by OneInBillions

I find it funny that my parents just kind of ignore it. Maybe they've lived with me so long that they know it's the only way to deal with me or something. Or maybe they just don't know what to do or say.

But really, I'm totally isolated and unemployed and they never even mention it. They never seem to worry that I don't get along well with others, or that I never go out, or that I don't have friends, or that I never date. They never say anything about my anxiety or depression.

Sometimes I wonder if they care at all, or if maybe they just don't understand or don't accept mental illness as "real."

sounds like my entire familie's attitude to my agoraphobia. it's not good.

how do people help me?. they don't.

if they know i'm anxious about something, they usually just call me weak and ignore it
no help to me at all- and leaves me with no where to turn

[notthisagain]

The usual suspects: "It's mind over matter", "Have you tried XYZ?", et cetera. I have even had my T tell me "You have to find a way to not be anxious!" Uhh, isn't this sort of what I pay her to help me to do? She also suggested that I cut out gluten, because she did, and it made her feel better. Sometimes people's suggestions hurt more than they help, and then I feel isolated and spiral into a depression.

If there was truly a magic bullet, don't people realize that we would all be trying it right now? I've tried exercise, meditation, listening to music, going for a walk, gardening, vitamins, superfood powders - all kinds of stuff, but none of that changes the fact that I have a disorder in which I experience irrational anxiety. The only thing that seems to help me is talking to other people who truly understand, because they experience it themselves.

[ManOfConstantSorrow]

Originally Posted by AnxietyMaster

No I can't be calmed with reassurance.

No, it's not because of my (insert xyz).

Yes, I've tried self talk. Myself doesn...e irrational. I know they won't happen, but I still worry for no reason.

Meh.

This I am afraid is life, speaking as someone who has worried an awful lot for 50 years, if you show signs of anxiety people will try to help you and usually in ways that reveal their lack of understanding.

As you say, you worry for no reason, so there is no reason why anyone else should worry about you. Without having to worry about people worrying about you you may find that having less to worry about will help you worry less.

Has anyone suggested that you may grow out of it? No? In that case I won't either.

As a matter of curiosity is there anything someone could say to you that would help?

I would be quite curious about why you think you worry. I worry because I think in deeply unhelpful ways, or at least I do if I don't carefully think in another way.

[spring2014]

hi anxietymaster,
I have my therapist help me out when my anxiety level is high and I can't get it down after I applied my coping skills that she gave me and the medication I take when my anxiety level is high. my anxiety level goes high when im under a lot of stress I know it when it goes high im crying my eyes out and I need someone to talk to when im under stress. that's where my therapist comes into play for me to help me calm down .

[AnxietyMaster]

Originally Posted by ManOfConstantSorrow

This I am afraid is life, speaking as someone who has worried an awful lot for 50 years, if you show signs of anxiety people will try to help you and usually in ways that reveal their lack of understanding.

As you say, you worry for no reason, so there is no reason why anyone else should worry about you. Without having to worry about people worrying about you you may find that having less to worry about will help you worry less.

Has anyone suggested that you may grow out of it? No? In that case I won't either.

As a matter of curiosity is there anything someone could say to you that would help?

I would be quite curious about why you think you worry. I worry because I think in deeply unhelpful ways, or at least I do if I don't carefully think in another way.

Hello!

I read your reply, and though "This hits it head on". I have never had anyone tell me I will outgrow it. I never thought this is possible, as my doctor suspects I am pretty much growing.

I do like receiving hugs from loved ones, as it reassures me that they are still alive... The only issue is that every time I am truly comfortable, I feel guilty, thus forcing myself into an unhealthy cycle. This applies to all kinds of things, not just worry.

I don't think anyone has ever been able to calm me... Most people just say "Cut it out!", thinking it's not real. Meh.

I think that I worry because of... I am not sure... I always thought it was because of when I was bullied in 2-4th grade. People would tell me that my parents were going to die, or that they were going to kill my pets... I am not sure honestly why I worry. Some of the thoughts I have are so obscure I don't think that they stem from my own mind...

Thanks for the reply!