[Leyla]

hi everyone
i guess i am looking for some encouragement and feedback. long story short, i had a rough year emotionally and that affected my work performance, the last few months i have been making errors that could of been avoided. i have been at this job for the last 14 and half years, it is an entry level job, as i don't handle stress and pressure well. so this has suited me.

well i had my performance review today and my boss really nailed into me. she said you have been at this job for so long you should not be making these kind of mistakes, we all have issues, she knows about my anxiety, but doesn't seem to really care.. she went on to compare me with the 2 newer people and said the quality of their work is better than yours. talk about disempowering me. yes i agree i made some mistakes along the way, i did take ownership for them.

i guess i am really bored and desperate to get out of her dept. but it is very difficult to find a new position because people who are being transitioned out are getting first preference in terms of any new jobs that come up.

my confidence has been shot down by her, i feel like its an uphill battle now to prove to her i can do my job but more to prove to myself... i already suffer from low self esteem and confidence issues. her saying these things didn't help me....but make me feel worse, now when i got to work, i am double checking my work which slows me down, and i am paranoid about the next error that will be brought to my attention.

i really can't think of leaving the company totally as the benefits are good, i get 4 weeks vacation pay, but the pay sucks !!!

so for now i feel really stuck. thanks for reading my vent if you got this far.

[leejosepho]

Originally Posted by Leyla

the last few months i have been making errors that could have been avoided.

Maybe make a list of the things you could have done to have avoided those errors, then use that list as a simple focus reminder -- kind of like a pilot's pre-flight checklist no matter how long s/he has been flying -- at the beginning of each workday.

[Leyla]

yes i could do that lee but i really need is a change, but stepping outside of what has been my comfort zone scares me too and than that sets off more anxiety for me.

i tend to overthink alot at work hence the errors... which are minor ones like spelling a name wrong and that slows me down too the over thinking.

[eyesclosed]

Do you have a EAP rep there? Maybe a change in your work area would help

[Leyla]

hi eyesclosed
we do have an employee assitance program if that is what you mean. but no actual rep.

i have seen so many people come and go from our dept. mostly go because they can't stand her as a manager, she has no people skills whatsoever. they only keep her there because she is good at her job and she has been there almost 20 years.