[Ballyhoo]

Hello everyone, I’m new here and I have social anxiety. My biggest problem is that I can’t go out and talk to people, which is obvious. The kicker here is that if someone came up and talked to me I would be completely fine and barely anxious at all. The problem is only severe when I have to seek someone out for any reason. I’m not a doctor, but I think it might be a pride thing. For most of my life I’ve had to figure my problems out by myself. I HATE asking for help (doing this isn’t easy at all) and I know it’s irrational, but I always feel like I’m weak when I can’t handle something on my own. As a result, I feel like other people think I’m weak. I have no problem whatsoever helping other people, it’s just asking for it myself. Not to mention, I currently don’t leave the house more then 3-4 times a month and I don’t have any friends or a driver’s license. I’ve tried out some different ways to deal with it, but I don’t get out often enough to actually work on the problem. I don’t really know what else to do. Any help would be appreciated.

[CrazyLo]

HI and welcome!

I have social anxiety, too. Mine has gotten WAY better as I've gotten older. I am definitely afraid of approaching people, though. The scariest thing is to ask a manager for a job application. I am also afraid to talk to people when I'm out with my friends...to people that I don't know but I'm being introduced to...I'm always very awkward in those situations. I often avoid eye contact with people because it makes me uncomfortable. I am very anxious about making ANY phone calls. I just hate it.

My fear is of being judged or rejected or of embarrassing myself. So it's a bit different from yours.

But with all social anxieties, the best thing to do is continue to expose yourself to unpleasant situations. The more you do it, the easier it becomes. Do you have a therapist? Maybe they can do exposure therapy with you.

[LifeGetsBetter]

I have social anxiety too. I hate being with people. I'm ok with "Hello, how are you?" Then I go blank.

[popuri88]

I have it too. And it did get better as I got older and had no choice but to face some of my fears, so yes, graduated exposure is the only way I've found to work things out. While I can easily order food, buy stuff or in person or on the phone and talk to random people in an objective way (helping other people, for example), I still feel very unconfortable when I have to talk to semi-acquaintances or be around people I kind of know, but I'm not close to.

Why don't you have a driver's license? I've failed the exam many times because I get nervous when I someone is paying attention at what I am doing. Also, I doubt you act like this out of "proudness", but out of fear of exposing yourself, as you fear other people's judgment.

[SCP-122]

Originally Posted by Ballyhoo

Hello everyone, I’m new here and I have social anxiety. My biggest problem is that I can’t go out and talk to people, which is obvious. The kicker here is that if someone came up and talked to me I would be completely fine and barely anxious at all. The problem is only severe when I have to seek someone out for any reason. I’m not a doctor, but I think it might be a pride thing. For most of my life I’ve had to figure my problems out by myself. I HATE asking for help (doing this isn’t easy at all) and I know it’s irrational, but I always feel like I’m weak when I can’t handle something on my own. As a result, I feel like other people think I’m weak. I have no problem whatsoever helping other people, it’s just asking for it myself. Not to mention, I currently don’t leave the house more then 3-4 times a month and I don’t have any friends or a driver’s license. I’ve tried out some different ways to deal with it, but I don’t get out often enough to actually work on the problem. I don’t really know what else to do. Any help would be appreciated.

I can empathize easily with this. I've had social phobia since 6th grade and I can tell you it truly does get better with time and exposure. I know you can't get much since you mentioned you don't go out much but if you live with family it might help to practice with them. I too also have the fear of looking week and stupid, but exposure or practice, even a little bit, will help you out so much. I apologize if I can't help you but this has worked for me and I'm hoping it can help you as well.

[Nike007]

Hello. I have social anxiety too. I was just diagnosed last year and have had it unofficially for as a I remember. Exposure is only good if it is small steps. Bad exposure can make the condition worse. Anyways, PM if you need someone to talk to .

Sent from my SGH-I747M using Tapatalk

[francisR]

hi Ballyhoo

I used to have social anxiety. also, but I found that as I began to get a bit of a grip on general anxiety. this improved also. Have you tried therapy? That can really help to give you good skills to manage that. You could Google a CBT therapist for your area. How about medication that can help also?
There is Nami the organization for the mentally ill and you can Google them. to find out what services they have in your area. They do run peer to peer support groups which you would find helpful and give you the opportunity to make friends with fellow sufferers. That might be easier for you. since we are all in the same boat. I hope and pray this will improve for you in the future. Have a really great day. God bless and best wishes from your friend Francis

[BlossomPink]

Phone calls are almost impossible, for me! It's somewhat easier to speak up, face to face, but especially struggle with phone calls. My partner gets frustrated, naturally, saying it isn't his job to sort out my life... make my phone calls for me. But he usually does it, in the end. I'm grateful, in the hsort term, but...

I guess it was strongly impressed upon me, as a kid, to be quiet, not bother anyone, and though I know I have a right to ask for help (which, unfortunately, I must do, often, as a disabled person), it's never comfortable.

Doesn't help that I have a quiet voice, and people are constantly asking me to repeat...which makes me feel stupid, and aggravated, both. What a mess!

[Amarose]

I get anxious in larger groups of people or crowds. Also sometimes with talking with new people.