Has anybody lied to get out of social events?

defyinggravity65 · Nov 25, 2015 at 09:40 PM

I have social anxiety and I do this sometimes.
I wish I could stop, but the relief of knowing I got out of a potentially uncomfortable situation feels good.
Sometimes I can force myself to just go do it, but usually not.

convalescence · Nov 25, 2015 at 10:30 PM

Yes, I have done that more than once.

It was often to avoid a potentially embarrassing situation from occurring "What if I get sick?"

It doesn't really help the anxiety as much as it does reinforcing it.

ChipperMonkey · Nov 26, 2015 at 12:47 AM

Yes, I have.

Some people can't handle knowing the truth.

Nov 26, 2015 at 10:29 AM

Multiple times.

Are you able to attend with someone who knows your situation?

I had a signal I could give my BF when things got a bit much for me. We could then make the excuse and leave together. Really quite helped and made it easier to at least get out and try to attend things.

Nov 26, 2015 at 10:31 AM

Yeah done it too.

gayleggg · Nov 26, 2015 at 01:31 PM

Yeah, I've done it too. Sometimes it's just easier.

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ManOfConstantSorrow · Nov 26, 2015 at 01:56 PM

Yes. It felt good.

(JD) · Nov 26, 2015 at 02:40 PM

To all...

You do not need to lie.
Just say something that is truth...... You have every right to not go to any social event.
You have your own life, make your own decisions.

Just say, "I'm not going." "I won't be there."
if they ask why/why not... you can say, "I'm just not going."
The less you say, the less argument they have.

You don't need to lie when you're making your own choices.

ManOfConstantSorrow · 04:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ManOfConstantSorrow

Yes. It felt good.

Seriously though this is something to be managed. Some things can be legitimately avoided, but others are an opportunity to develop your coping skills.

I had some useful sessions with my T on this, where we explored why I felt uneasy about some gatherings.

Unrigged64072835 · Nov 29, 2015 at 04:52 PM

I have, usually when there can be potential triggers. Not a good way to do things but I'd rather not have a panic attack in front of my friends.

Random · Nov 29, 2015 at 05:18 PM

I usually lie and dont feel bad about it. I can even justify it in my head. Im lying to save their feelings, if I tell them I dont want to go they might think they did something wrong. Though, I will say now that Im old, the more you lie to get out of things the less often they pop up. Whether thats good or bad is up to the person. To me, its a good thing.

with or without you · Nov 30, 2015 at 04:19 AM

All the time

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Nov 30, 2015 at 08:25 AM

fortunately, i'm not invited to many social events anyway

the ones that have come up, i've just been in the wrong place at the wrong time.. that meaning when it starts, i can't be their for what ever reason.

usually plan something i need to do for that particular time- so not really lying as such, just prolonging things i need to do to clash with events.

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Has anybody lied to get out of social events?

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defyinggravity65 Member Member Since Nov 2015 Location: USA Posts: 224 8 22 hugs given	Nov 25, 2015 at 09:40 PM #1 I have social anxiety and I do this sometimes. I wish I could stop, but the relief of knowing I got out of a potentially uncomfortable situation feels good. Sometimes I can force myself to just go do it, but usually not. __________________ Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder ("Pure O" Type), Social Anxiety Rx: Lorazepam PRN
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convalescence Member Member Since Dec 2014 Location: USA Posts: 473 9 106 hugs given	Nov 25, 2015 at 10:30 PM #2 Yes, I have done that more than once. It was often to avoid a potentially embarrassing situation from occurring "What if I get sick?" It doesn't really help the anxiety as much as it does reinforcing it.
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ChipperMonkey Grand Poohbah Member Since May 2014 Location: Somewhere/Anywhere/Nowhere Posts: 1,516 10 263 hugs given	Nov 26, 2015 at 12:47 AM #3 Yes, I have. Some people can't handle knowing the truth. __________________ Will work for bananas.
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Anonymous37784 Guest Posts: n/a	Nov 26, 2015 at 10:29 AM #4 Multiple times. Are you able to attend with someone who knows your situation? I had a signal I could give my BF when things got a bit much for me. We could then make the excuse and leave together. Really quite helped and made it easier to at least get out and try to attend things.
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Anonymous59786 Guest Posts: n/a	Nov 26, 2015 at 10:31 AM #5 Yeah done it too.
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gayleggg Legendary Wise Elder Community Liaison Member Since Apr 2013 Location: Texas Posts: 26,619 (SuperPoster!) 11 10.4k hugs given	Nov 26, 2015 at 01:31 PM #6 Yeah, I've done it too. Sometimes it's just easier. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk __________________ Bipolar I, Depression, GAD Meds: Zoloft, Zyprexa, Ritalin "Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most." -Buddha zaicy1@gmail.com
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ManOfConstantSorrow Grand Poohbah Member Since Jul 2014 Location: United Kingdom Posts: 1,954 9 4 hugs given	Nov 26, 2015 at 01:56 PM #7 Yes. It felt good.
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Unrigged64072835 Legendary Member Since Oct 2010 Location: Under the noise floor Posts: 18,579 (SuperPoster!) 13 11.8k hugs given	Nov 29, 2015 at 04:52 PM #10 I have, usually when there can be potential triggers. Not a good way to do things but I'd rather not have a panic attack in front of my friends.
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Random Member Member Since Nov 2004 Posts: 100 19 25 hugs given	Nov 29, 2015 at 05:18 PM #11 I usually lie and dont feel bad about it. I can even justify it in my head. Im lying to save their feelings, if I tell them I dont want to go they might think they did something wrong. Though, I will say now that Im old, the more you lie to get out of things the less often they pop up. Whether thats good or bad is up to the person. To me, its a good thing.
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with or without you Poohbah Member Since Nov 2010 Location: US Posts: 1,273 13	Nov 30, 2015 at 04:19 AM #12 All the time Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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Anonymous32451 Guest Posts: n/a	Nov 30, 2015 at 08:25 AM #13 fortunately, i'm not invited to many social events anyway the ones that have come up, i've just been in the wrong place at the wrong time.. that meaning when it starts, i can't be their for what ever reason. usually plan something i need to do for that particular time- so not really lying as such, just prolonging things i need to do to clash with events.
	Reply With Quote