[heartexplodes]

Lately I'm struggling with life in general and it's really getting me down.

I feel like I can't walk out of the house without it being a struggle and I honestly just don't want to keep feeling so uncomfortable anymore. I've had stages of anxiety my entire life, it seems to come and go, but it's never been as bad as it has been lately. Going to work, going grocery shopping, getting on a bus, going out with friends - it all feels like a challenge.

I keep making myself do these things because I feel like if I let this thing stop me from doing things then it's just beating me & I can't let it but it's just constant discomfort to do them.

Pretty much every time I'm outside of the house and even sometimes when I am at home, I feel like I'm constantly on 'edge' and in a state of high anxiety but it never becomes a panic attack or anything obvious. Just me feeling like my entire body is tight and then I feel nauseous and this lasts for HOURS. I almost wish I would just have panic attacks so there would be a start and end point but there just isn't.

I'm not currently in therapy and the only people who know I'm struggling with this is my grandparents because the both of them also have struggled with anxiety and understand what I'm talking about. Apart from that, pretty much no one knows. I think seeing a therapist could be helpful if only to have someone to open up to but I can't afford it and I don't want to ask for the time off work because I don't want them thinking that I'm unreliable.

I basically just want to know that I'm not alone here and if there are any techniques that anyone could pass on to get me through, I'd really appreciate it.

[barbella]

No you are definitely not alone in your feelings! I am glad you have your grandparents to speak with - at least that's something.
There are a couple of things i have done to help with anxiety. One is to exercise until the feeling subsides. For me that could take 20 minutes to half and hour. You don't have to go to a gym (unless you want to, of course). Sometimes I just walk really quickly and that will be enough. But you do need to do it for that 20 - 30 minutes or more. The other thing is to meditate. That can take a bit of getting used to but there are lots of online supports for learning how to meditate. It is interesting that meditation involves accepting the uncomfortable feelings, or at least acknowledging that they are they. I don't have any suggestions for good sites but you should be able to pick up Jon Kabat Zinn's set of CDs about mindfulness meditation from a public library. I hope this will help.
Take good care, OK?

[Skeezyks]

Hello heartexplodes: The Skeezyks is pretty-much completely solitary... by choice. It's not that I can't go out. But I choose not to for the most part. I've never had panic attacks as I understand them. But what has happened with me is that the longer I'm out in public, the more nervous & stressed out I get. At one time it was so bad that, after a while, I would sometimes begin to feel like I was floating outside my body. I didn't know what I could do about it. And I was too embarrassed to tell anyone about it. And I also didn't feel like I had any choice but to keep going. So I just toughed it out... no matter how bad it got. And sometimes it was bad. I have often also wished that something dramatic would just happen that would bring everything to a head, so to speak. But it never has.

I still have this gradually increasing level of anxiety when I go out in public... shopping for example. (I never go anywhere there is a crowd!) But, over the years, my levels of anxiety seem to have lessened. I don't float outside my body anymore. I don't see a therapist. I've tried a few over the years but never found anyone I felt was helpful. I'm also no longer on med's. I just force myself to keep doing whatever I have to do on a day-to-day basis whether I feel up to it or not. I have the sense that if I ever allowed myself to not do so, there is no telling where the bottom would be. In order to cope with my mental health struggles I walk (walking meditation, walking our dog every day, & walking to local stores, etc.) among other things. It helps...

I wish you well

(((hugs)))

[Nimitri]

I'm sorry if my advice is not as helpful. I'm also coping with this situation and I go to a therapist and take two medicines: paroxetine and Ativan. For me, right now that I had a massive panic attack, I'm doing mindfulness but today and yesterday I took it a little too far and did it for around 2 hours and that feeling of "anxiety waiting to happen" I have it right now. like an itch that doesn't go away, that stress that is not stress and just gets over with it but please doesn't because I want to be better. What I'm doing is just thinking "I accept this feeling. It takes me hours that I could use better, but it's what I need right now" letting it pass and doing something mentally, like studying something in coursera and such.

I hope something in my rambling might help you. You are not alone and you can do it.

[yakmom]

no, you're not alone. seems I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop. I had my first in a very long time full blown, cold feeling in my chest, scared out of my wits that something terrible is going to happen, panic attack Monday. I took my Ativan as directed but it didn't help. I was like that all day. I don't have a therapist either. my regular doc helps me all he can. Don't give up.

[AbladeintheMeadow]

Hi I'm sorry you feel the way you do & from the many replies you have received you can see many of us understand how you feel. You're absolutely not alone in how anxiety makes you feel.

I am currently feeling very similar, I felt like it most of yesterday & have woke up feeling the same today. It makes me feel short on air, sometimes dizzy and agitated as in on edge, can't settle, but it's coming to nothing. And it's not because I want an attack - I've had some really nasty ones, it's just that feeling like this for so long isn't nice either, sometimes I too wish it would just come to a head and at least be done with.

I send you warm wishes and hope that knowing you're not alone brings a little comfort.

[avlady]

you are not alone!!!when i was younger i had the worst attacks. i ended up on a psych ward and got meds through trial and error i got alot better. i rarely have attacks, not even in over about 5 years now. so you see through my example you can get better. good luck

[lilypup]

Instead of a therapist, could you find a mental health support group? Some meet in the day and some meet at night so you wouldn't have to miss work. These are almost all totally free.
I go to a bipolar support group, but many of the people suffer from anxiety and it is often a topic. So don't be afraid to go outside of your anxiety dx when you are looking for a group.
Keep talking to your grandparents as much as possible. Nothing like someone who has been there. And use us as often as you like.