[Kellarella]

Hey Everyone,

Just wanted to post about my experience on friday.

I am studying at uni, and had to defer my exams because of anxiety.. so I had 3 weeks to settle down, get back on meds, and study... I sat them wednesday and friday.

I was absolutely terrified, and I mean terrified. I have a really big problem with rooms full of people. My tuesday exam went perfect, no anxiety at all, I was so relieved and did the whole exam, with only 2 hours sleep the night before!

The exam on friday was terrible, I panicked in the exam.. but I just wanted to share with everyone what happened so that maybe other people who get really anxious in the same type situations may be able to see that it can be done...

I went into the exam, and was fine, really nervous, as anyone would be, but ok. Until about 20 minuties into the exam, I started to completely freak out. My hear started racing, hands were sweating and I had this overwhelming feeling that I had to get out. I kept looking around the room, and started to feel like everyone was looking at me.. I can't even decribe just how horrible I felt.

I could have left, I wanted to so badly, but I kept repeating in my head, I can't leave, I don't want to fail.. if I have to, I will ask to go to the toilet and sit in there for a few minutes to calm down.

For three hours it kept happening every few minutes and it took every ounce of energy I had to stay in that room.. when it got really bad, i put my pen down, closed my eyes and put my head down... i did that about 10 times... and managed to sit my exam.

I am so proud that I did it, I was 2 seconds away from walking out of that room and never coming back.

I understand there are things people just cannot do, I am one of those people myself, there are many many things that I should have done in my life so far, but cant due to anxiety.. but I just wanted to share this one thing, and if it helps anyone.. I am happy...

The biggest thing I found is... when you are at the point where u feel like you can't handle it anymore, you give yourself options.. make deals with yourself.. if I am still the same in 5 minutes, i will leave or I will go to the toilet, go outside, get up and get a drink... anything that will relieve the pressure for the moment.. thats what I did, just kept making deals with myself till I had finished.. I know people are thinking, no way, when its that bad, I have to leave, get out of there etc.. I know how that feels, and it doesn't work for me all the time either, but if you do everything you possibly can to keep yourself doing it for 5 more minutes, its a step forward :-)

I am anxious to sit another exam, which is in 6 months, but I now know that I can do it...

Take care everyone,

Kel xx

[(JD)]

Way to go!!! I'm proud of you!

It will get less difficult each time you make it through! With 6 months to work on it more, I bet you'll be great!

[sabby]

Congrats Kelleralla!!!

You did an awesome job of self talk to get you through a difficult time. Isn't it amazing how we can manage our mind when it seems to want to manage us???

I'm sure you are so proud of yourself and with good reason. And know to build on what you have learned will only mean that you can reach anything you want to do, anxiety issues or not...you CAN and WILL do it!

YAYAYAYAY!!! I love it when this stuff happens

Hugsss
J

[Christina86]

Woohooo!

Awesome job!

Good going on making those deals with yourself ... it works wonders with all sorts of things.