[defyinggravity65]

Hey everybody. I really need your help right now because my anxiety is so strong and I'm so scared I'm actually going crazy!
I've been diagnosed with everything listed below and was never given a diagnosis of psychosis but I'm always worried I'm going to lose my mind.

Some things have happened recently that have made that fear come back really strong and I can't stop worrying!! Please help me calm down, I can't go to therapy until next month because I can't take off work!

So my OCD fear revolves around remembering things that didn't happen, therefore being delusional. The thought of this absolutely TERRIFIES me!
The other day I had a "memory" of my little sister saying she liked the blonde streaks in my hair. It felt really real...but I don't have blond highlights! I really do not think she said it but I had a fleeting memory that she did! And the worst part was it came out of NOWHERE. Just a totally random thought.
Also, yesterday I was on Pinterest and could have SWORE I saw a certain picture on there before...except I really don't think I did! It was like a super strong deja-vu feeling about a random picture and it won't go away!
Another example: The other day I had a random memory of someone at my school talking about the plot of a video game. I couldn't think of the video game they were talking about so I looked it up and no video game exists with that plot!
Lastly, I just want you guys to know that the reason I have this specific OCD fear is because three years ago I had a dream that I thought was real when I woke up, later to find it may not be real. That whole experience haunts me still to this day and I've obsessed about it so much that I really don't know whether or not I dreamed it that night or if it actually happened to me a long time ago!

Are these types of false memory experiences only happening to me because I have OCD and I'm worried they will happen, or am I actually losing my mind!

I've been literally sitting on my couch all day just scared that I'm losing it!! Anxiety is at its worst right now, especially since I have off work today so there's nothing else to distract me. Please tell me what you think...is this crazy or all related to severe anxiety?

[Dont_Follow]

For one thing, thinking you're going crazy is a hallmark of panic disorder and anxiety in general. You are going to be ok. I've experienced similar stuff. Do you see a psychiatrist and tell them all this?

A common practice in Stoicism is to gaze directly into your worst fear as if it were true. Don't look away, just observe it and see it as it really is. You're diagnosed with some variety of a psychotic disorder. You're started on an anti-psychotic medication and it messes you up. You're really tired all day and can't stop eating. You get your med switched, and suddenly things aren't so bad. You can handle this easily. The symptoms are pretty much gone, you feel normal. You move on with your life successfully like millions of others with similar disorders.

If you really ponder this, the fear shouldn't have such crippling power over you. Again, that is worst case scenario, not something that is guaranteed to happen. When all is said and done, regardless of how things go, you are going to be ok and your life can go on as you choose to live it.

[defyinggravity65]

Thanks, I'm doing a little better today but I constantly wonder if this is what it feels like to go crazy. I can't stop ruminating about the things I mentioned above

[handheart]

Try to meet a psicholog or a psihiatric doc and speak with them about your dream ,what was in it what trauma cause it to you etc .I am sure they can help you a little

I have imagned events and conversations. I've always figured this was part of my mind wandering or daydreaming