[Random]

I'm not sure if this should be in depression or anxiety as the two go hand in hand so often.

Recently I've gotten a lot better from physical problems that lasted about 17 or 18 months. Nothing is perfect but my quality of life is a lot better lately from a physical health perspective. I'm glad for this. In fact it's given me time to appreciate life but since I'm generally mildly depressed all the time it turned negative pretty quick. Things like "Why are you happy now when you were severely depressed before the health stuff happened" which quickly led to thoughts about how my journey into the mental health rabbit hole started when I was around 29 and I am 41 now. If I could have seen my life today vs back then and how much harder it was I'd have been a lot more dangerous to myself. My coping skills have gotten a lot better but I am coping with so much more now. My anxiety is racing the last few days about what if this is how life is, you get better at coping as your life gradually gets more and more difficult until you die. This terrifies me. A lot.

Sometimes my anxiety gets so bad I feel like I need to hurt myself now before I become physically unable to help myself out of a painful, physical or emotional, situation. I can usually talk myself down but if life has taught me one thing in the last year and a half it's that in a blink you can be in extreme pain and surrounded by hospitals and doctors and helpless to their whims. If you're suffering they can decide tough. Or worse, they might feel terrible and feel sympathy but whatever painful procedure still needs to be done and your choice is let them or have it get worse so you're trapped. I never realized before all this there is pain even a hospital can't take away.

For those who deal with anxiety similar to this, what are ways you calm yourself down? Are there things you try to tell yourself?

Coping skills are best learned by seeing a therapist, in my personal experience. They can teach you a "toolbox" of mental coping skills.

Also, there are medications that greatly reduce anxiety like Zoloft, for example. Seeing a psychiatrist to discuss your symptoms and talking things through to a therapist can help you immensely.

My 'toolbox' includes strategies both physical and theoretical.

I have an anxiety bag full of things like a worry stone, a tin of coffee, and gum. The idea is that you stimulate yourself with physical things than evoke your senses. This gives you somethingelse to concentrate on. Now, I am able to simply think of these things as needed - the scent of coffee is probably my favourite.

Cognitive Behaaviour Therapy (CBT) has been a great resource too. I developed some greaat strategies.

[handheart]

I usualy try to stop my negative thoughts of negativity ,fear etc by trying to plant oposite ones like positivity ,hapiness love etc .Its not an easy process but you must choose to feed the part of you with positivity and not negative ones like anxiety