BREAKUP + Move Out making me VERY anxious, scared and panicky!

I'd been dating my boyfriend for seven months and we moved in together in early May. His temper, that had not been directed at me in the beginning, got so bad that he had pounded his fist right above my head one night and aggressively clapped his hands right in my face to scare me. The other main thing was how he compulsively stared/leered at other women when we were out. Not just a glance, but a full head follow and then stare. If they were in the room for an hour, an hour he'd stare. This gave me terrible anxiety and stomachaches. I mean, I couldn't even go to the store with him, I detested the thought of going anywhere with him even though he had about 5 trips planned for us this Summer (including Italy...no thanks!) He was completely unaware that he did it, and would go ballistic when approached about it. He and his therapist diagnosed me, as having "delusional jealousy" and figured it was my problem, not his (this therapist enables him terribly). My therapist is convinced he has serious ADD and when informed about it, his therapist (embarrassed she never diagnosed him in 8 years) said, "Yeah, but mild." So, I'd have to deal with all this staring and distraction. Whatever the case, I lost 10 pds, couldn't sleep, tried to talk to him, but couldn't take it and am now moving out. I broke it off in a counseling session (safe there) and since then, he's had to be out of the apartment while I stayed and found a place. He states I "abandoned" us and blames the majority of it on me "seeing things". Whatever the case, there's something horrible about having to pack up stuff you just packed and the feelings of loneliness are off the charts. I am so scared of feeling alone. I mean, it's paralyzing. I also fear the panic attacks and waking up in the morning scares the crap out of me. It's when I have no one to talk to (laying down in "our" bed, his stuff all over) and I open my eyes that I just have a sense of dread. I find myself having to talk to friends every few hours to just settle my anxiety (although I try not to burden them). I fear panic attacks, of which I've had a few the last few weeks. Do any of you fear being alone during these times and the only thing that makes you feel better is when you're being talked to and comforted?

Hello NYCKAT80, well thank goodness you got out of that relationship as it was certainly abusive! You don't say how long you have been living alone but I can reassure you that it will get better. Try to keep you mind distracted during panic times. Play video games, play music, cards, talk to friends, whatever to keep you occupied. It sounds like you have been through a lot but you are now on the right road.

Regarding the move. Make sure you don't 'settle' regarding the belongings. When I got out I did so rather quickly taking not much more than what was on my back. Even though the majority of everything in the home I had purchased, I was no longer entitled to the moment I left. It wasn't just the things I had contributed to the relationship but many sentimental items too. If only I had the fortitude back then to collect these belongings.