[TooManyIssuesMolly]

I know how to drive, I can operate just fine behind the wheel when there's no one else out driving, but as soon as I see another car driving (even if it's far away from me), I start to get extremely anxious. I just can't stop thinking of all the things that could go wrong, of all the different ways they could crash into me or force me to crash into something, even if all these scenarios are extremely unlikely. My heart rate goes up, my palms get sweaty, and I start getting slightly dizzy/nauseous.
I've been trying to learn how to drive since 17 and have faced the same issues the past 3 years. I feel very behind compared to others my age & I'm definitely limited when it comes to work or even recreational activities.
My one major goal of 20 was to finally get my license so I could live somewhat normally, but I'm already over halfway through this year & still unable to drive.
Of course I'm also extremely embarrassed about my lack of driving so I usually just avoid any/all situations where I'd need a car.

Anyone else have similar problems? Or figured out a way to manage anxiety while driving? All advice is greatly appreciated!

[Skeezyks]

Hello TooManyIssuesMolly: Well... the Skeezyks no longer drives. I simply don't feel safe behind the wheel. But I'm an older person. And I live a pretty-much reclusive lifestyle. So it doesn't really matter.

Have you considered looking into some driving courses that might be offered in your area? I've seen some TV news reports about hands-on driver safety training programs that are offered in our area. People who take the courses actually get to go out & drive on an obstacle course & learn how to drive safely in all kinds of weather & around all sorts of obstacles. Something like this might help you to feel more in control.

[Fuzzybear]

[eina]

I struggled with this for ages as well, I'd get back from driving and have to peel my fingers out of their death grip on the steeling wheel, sometimes I had little cuts from where my nails had dug into my palms. It was awful.

The thing that ended up unexpectedly helping was actually bicycling. We have a lot of bike paths where I live so I picked it up at as hobby out of frustration with being stuck at home and feeling helpless. I can tell you that a significant amount of my driving anxiety came from a lack of trust in myself, I believed I was a bad driver with slow reflexes and while I loved driving alone on quiet back roads, the wild card effect of other drivers made me feel like I was out of my depth. Biking was almost like training wheels. The independence of navigating and paying attention to drivers and traffic laws was a revelation, it built up a lot of confidence for me and a year later I got back behind the wheel. Six months of practice later I aced my test and at 23 was officially a licensed driver. Now I even drive freeways (which I swore I would NEVER do) and have held my own through several nasty hydro-planings and the occasional bad driver. Turns out my reflexes are fine- not a single accident, not a single scratch.

Maybe biking's not feasible for you, but there are definitely other things that could expose you to a similar circumstance like walking busy roads or even playing driving video games or watching dash cam footage. The suggestion of safety or defensive driving training is also a very good one and might make you feel more equipped and secure behind the wheel.

Just know that you're definitely not alone in this. Fear of driving is much more common than you think and a lot of people struggle with it. Hang in there!

I'm 49 and don't drive any longer. At the time the decision was to save money but, having done so I realize I was in fact anxious about driving. I am so much happier now. I take the bus - which does cut down on spontenaity - and walk a great deal

[TooManyIssuesMolly]

Thank you so much everyone for the suggestions & encouragement! I know driving anxiety is a common enough issue but it can feel isolating at times.
I have read driving books/manuals, but I have yet to actually sign up for a behind the wheel course, so that would be a good thing to check out! I think my city does have some programs for adult drivers, though they aren't the most conveniently located.
The biking suggestion is interesting, I haven't been biking in years since I don't have one, but I would definitely like to try it out, especially since it helped you so much! I don't get anxious when walking around cars so it probably does have something to do with me not fully trusting myself behind a wheel as well.
I do love the bus, I have time to read/work, it saves energy & is much cheaper than a car! Only downside is the extra time it takes to get around, especially in the summer when we have lots of road construction to detour.
Thanks all for the suggestions and advice! I really do appreciate it

Drive safe if you drive, and if you don't drive, safe travels with whatever other transportation you use!

[BlondeFairy]

wow! I am 34 and I havent driven in years! I never felt comfortable and probably only logged about an hour total driving, then when my car broke down i just used that as an excuse to not drive anymore. Here i am still not doing it. I walk everywhere but now that my daughter is getting older I feel horrible that I dont drive her places. We do A LOT of fun stuff but the guilt is real. Im going to use that bike suggestion. That may help! Good luck to you! Im glad I am not alone in this. I truly feel like i dont have the right reflexes. I do have Executive Functioning Issues so that also doesnt help with my nerves.