[DaleCooper]

Whoo, my first thread here!

I have been to a couple therapy appointments now because my anxiety (generalized and social) got way out of hand. Admitting that there was something ‘wrong’ with me to several medical professionals was already a big step for me but so far it’s not working out.
I have been doing Cognitive Behavioural Therapy but I’m beginning to suspect it’s not for me. Initially I found the steps of challenging anxious thoughts helpful but after that it became harder and harder to identify anxious thoughts and triggers, as if my brain is actively concealing them from me. There is also no click with my therapist, I find the way she speaks to me quite belittling and I always feel dissatisfied leaving the appointments. Lately I have been neglecting my online therapy and not making any new appointments but am still in the need of help.

I have been considering to try a different type of therapy, even considering attending group sessions and finding a therapist I feel more comfortable with. So I have the following questions:

How do you tell your therapist that you want someone else when you have social anxiety?
Does anybody have similar issues with CBT and found other therapy that worked better?

[Skeezyks]

Hello DaleCooper: Well... I've seen a few different therapists for brief periods over the years. None of them amounted to anything from my perspective. On the other hand, I've read posts here on PC written by members who said their therapists saved their lives. So I presume there are great therapists out there. One simply has to find them. It is also true that not all therapists work well with every individual. So it's important to find one with whom you feel comfortable.

As far as telling your T you want someone else... well... you just tell her. Assuming she is professional, she'll understand & won't be offended. And if she's not professional & tries to hold on to you in spite of your wishes, then she's probably not someone you should be seeing anyway. Of course the other options are: send her a text or an e-mail or write her a letter. For that matter, you can simply cancel any further appointments you have scheduled with her & find someone else.

The thing is... therapy is a business relationship. You, or someone, is paying this person to help you. And if it isn't working for you then you have every right to make a change. And, at least in my opinion, you're not obligated to terminate your relationship with this T in any particular way. You wouldn't hesitate to change dentists if the one you were seeing wasn't taking proper care of your teeth. You'd go somewhere else. And you wouldn't schedule a meeting with her to tell her you plan to go elsewhere. You'd just do it. This is no different, in my opinion. The only consideration would be if the cost of your therapy is being paid for by a third party (an insurance company?) they may have some requirements you'll need to be mindful of in order to ensure they will continue to cover the costs of your therapy.

I cannot comment with regard to efficacy of CBT.

[DaleCooper]

Thank you Skeezyks! Looking at as a business relationship does make it seem a little less daunting and sending an email instead of a face to face encounter is surely more manageable.

This therapist was referred to me by my doctor so I can try to get referred again which then should be no problem with my insurance.

[Espurr1989]

I find groups to be more helpful than individual. I don't feel like I talk enough to get much of a dialogue going when it's one on one. My sessions with my current therapist are slightly helpful med wise and to process significant events, but they only last about 15 mins tops.

[handheart]

Well mind has a huge power if you think a therapist cannot help you then you will not get results you must control your mind to take the part of pozitive things

[Cyllya]

Yeah, I'm not a fan of CBT. It has it's uses, but it can easily end up with the sorts of problems you describe.

I've yet to get much use out of psychotherapy period, but you may benefit from a different therapist.

[kecanoe]

I have found CBT helpful, but there is an author named David Burns who has written about it and created at least one workbook. And doing the workbook is often as effective as therapy, and much cheaper. I don't like being talked thru the steps of CBT as I also find it overbearing and belittling.

I don't have any suggestions about finding a new t, but you are certainly free to do that. And you don't owe your current t anything other than the respect of cancelling future appointments. Some people find it helpful to have a final session, but that seems to be more for people who have been in long term therapy. Others think it doesn't make sense to spend the money for a session that is just going to be saying goodbye.

I hope you find some help for your anxiety. It is horrible.

[Lauliza]

I think CBT can be very useful if you have something very specific you want to target, such as social phobia or other types of crippling anxiety. Also, I've found the right T makes a difference. If you don't click with the person, no therapy is going to work. So I'd say if you want to pursue therapy, finding a therapist that you click with is probably more important than the type of therapy you receive.