[Sunlaien]

My anxiety has been really messing with me lately. I went through a strong few weeks of depression which is lifting somewhat but now all I feel is this crippling sense of anxiety. To the point of becoming motionless. I don't want to work. I don't want to participate in my hobbies. I just sit and stare and worry and my mind is taking me all over the place. Not wanting to be productive and then feeling guilty and anxious about not being productive and then being anxious about being anxious.

I've barely worked at all this week. I just find myself stopping and sitting and completely absorbed by the anxious feeling in my chest. Like an elephant is sitting on it.

Normally my self care methods of supplements and exercise help but I'm so overwhelmed I can't even force myself to go out and be active. I get dressed and ready to go and then--- I crawl back in bed.

I was going weekly to horse riding lessons. That really helped. But now I'm so anxious about that I have cancelled three times now. And I feel bad about it. So I'm too anxious to start again.

It's like I can't quiet my mind. It's all screaming at the same volume and it's hard to clear my head.

I'll start a movie then turn it off after 20 minutes. I'll start driving to town and then turn around 5 miles in. I can't seem to get myself going. I just want to feel okay about not being productive but my anxiety is making me feel really awful for not working and not being responsible and not doing more.

Just needed to vent this somewhere.

[*Laurie*]

Hi Sunlaien, I'm so sorry that you're experiencing such severe anxiety. It also sounds like your depression is bothering you, too. Many times depression can mask itself as anxiety, and vice-versa.

I hope you will seek help from a doctor, preferably a psychiatrist, but at least talk with how you're feeling with your GP. Quite frankly, from what you've described it sounds like you would benefit from medication. The reason I'm saying that is because your depression and anxiety sound very physical. For example, that 'elephant on your chest' sensation...in my experience, that is typical of a treatable depression/anxiety. Best to you.

[Sunlaien]

Originally Posted by LauraBeth

Hi Sunlaien, I'm so sorry that you're experiencing such severe anxiety. It also sounds like your depression is bothering you, too. Many times depression can mask itself as anxiety, and vice-versa.

I hope you will seek help from a doctor, preferably a psychiatrist, but at least talk with how you're feeling with your GP. Quite frankly, from what you've described it sounds like you would benefit from medication. The reason I'm saying that is because your depression and anxiety sound very physical. For example, that 'elephant on your chest' sensation...in my experience, that is typical of a treatable depression/anxiety. Best to you.

Thank you. I am being treated by a doctor and seeing a therapist. I do have medication as well. But maybe it is time for another change.

[gayleggg]

Yeah, it sounds like your medication isn't working. I would talk to my doctor about a change.

I'm kind of in the same boat but have tried almost all of the meds available. Plus my insurance is dropping the newer expensive ones. I hope you feel better soon.

[Turtlesoup]

I'm so sorry you're going through such a rough time-sounds so similar to what I've been experiencing the last few months. I finally pushed myself to start seeing a new pdoc & have started back on meds-am feeling better. I can really identify about finding something you enjoy & then it seems the anxiety takes it from you. I love horses too & encourage you to get back riding or at least go visit with the horses-grooming them for me is very relaxing & kind of a bonding thing. Please take care & let us know how you are doing

[Sunlaien]

Thanks. I'm hesitant to try another medication. It's not like this is killing me but I've taken a few meds that made me really-- sick. Hallucinations, suicidal ideation, downright feeling drugged. They scare me. I've been trying the holistic methods because I don't have such severe side effects.

I think being cooped up inside and not able to get outside is really messing with me. That and being alone. My partner has been working most days and when I see him when he gets home late at night; he's so tired and exhausted i barely have time just to talk to him about his day before he just goes to bed. That isn't helping I know. I am just feeling really alone and withdrawing. But I'm forcing myself today to drive out to my favorite tack store. A little retail therapy. It's raining but I can still get out. Not just be a zombie in the house.

If I take my anxiety meds I can't even drive. I get so drugged. I try to take a half pill but even then I feel funny. Not myself. The anxiety is numbed but so are all my thoughts. I can't formulate anything. And I don't trust myself to drive.

[eskielover]

From your other post about yiur marriage it's no wonder why yiur anxiety is high. When anxiety or depression is caused by the situation we are living in, there isn't a med in the world that will help as it can't change the situation. It might numb you to the real feelings you are having but they are there under it all & haven't gone away even though you are numb to them with meds.....that's why they aren't working for you....because the cant FIX what your REAL problem is. It's like putting a band aid over a hole in a dam & expecting it to stop the problem