[tealnpink]

It's been a long while since I posted here. I'm not sure where to post this. Since this situation is triggering my anxiety, I figured this was the best place for it.

My family in and of itself is a long, drawn out story. Short story, I left home when I was 17 and moved in with my grandmother. She became like my mom. Based on childhood and teenage abuse by my mother, I chose to not have her in my life beyond the age of 21 or so. My grandmother was the support in my that a parent would provide. My grandmother passed away three years ago. After that, my family fell apart. My aunt (grandma's oldest child) acted like she had multiple psychological issues, but mainly bipolar. And she became a toxic person. If you look up the signs of a toxic individual, she has all of them.

There was some major drama about two years ago to where I had to put my foot down and say no to her. She hung up on me and never called me again. I assumed I would never hear from her again and I came to terms with being okay with that. I felt better than I had in years and I was moving past a lot of my issues with losing my grandma and some childhood stuff.

Then my aunt pops back into my life about a week or two ago like we are best friends and she didn't hang up on my two years ago. There was some other fishy stuff that I won't go into.

As soon as she popped back in (via text message), I was full of anxiety all the time. I couldn't sleep, I could barely function. I was afraid to go home. I stayed longer at work than I needed to because I felt safe there. My depression got worse and I dreaded the next text from her.

I decided over a week ago that I needed to end this relationship. I was seeing how bad she was for me. I had a counseling appointment on Tuesday where we largely talked about this situation. She agreed with me that I needed to end the relationship and helped me write the text I would send her. We talked about everything that had been going on and she backed me up that I was doing the right thing for my mental health.

I worked on the letter more and tonight I sent it. I also sent letters to my three cousins (her children) because I know it will get around the family like a forest fire.

I'm posting this now because I'm...scared. I don't know what the aftermath of this will be. I've never actually done this before. I've never ended a relationship with a family member and I have no idea what she would do if we were face to face. Maybe it's paranoid, but I'm honestly afraid she is going to stalk me.

She doesn't know where I live as I moved a year ago and I didn't inform my family members of my new address. They know where I work, though.

I just really needed to share my experience with others who may have dealt with this issue too. And how to deal with the massive anxiety I'm feeling now.

Thanks
Jules

[Rondha]

I love my mother but how much negativity can one cope with or tolerate? My mother possesses all the traits of a toxic person minus the substance abuse. For years she would always control my actions, decide my friends, what I wear and basically my life. As a result I have socially withdrawn and am very distrustful and cautious of people I meet. I have also suffered from severe depression and plan to see a health profession in the future.
She's even threatened to stop funding my education when I was in high school and university. She has always made me feel worthless an ugly.
Coincidentally, I was excluded the same year (2nd year in uni) when she said she would finally stop paying for my tuition. I didn't want to live here with her dancing to her tune so I applied to a university abroad with full scholarship. I just got accepted and am preparing to travel. Just a thought if there is a will there is a way!