[tippitippi]

I recently decided to start cleaning as a side job. It seemed perfect because I can be alone with my headphones and do work that doesn't involve interacting with people. It's easy so I don't have to worry about doing a great job. The money is good.

However the reality is that people do trigger my anxiety. I am so worried about doing a good job that even a suggestion sounds like criticism and criticism sounds like I should go crawl into a hole. I go in with the sense of selfless service to mankind and then the homeowner says something and I realize I'm an idiot. I'm a maid and that's how I'm seen. They don't care that I'm here to make their lives better. I'm not on a reality tv show where I volunteer to clean for an elderly hoarder.

My other job is fitness training and in that setting I feel better.

I keep trying to improve myself and work through anxieties but it doesn't work . Exposure never works for my social anxiety- by that I mean it doesn't lessen it. Just gives me more opportunities to feel hurt.

Just wondering what people think and should I try to suck it up or be realistic and stick to what I know. Cleaning was my last resort and it's depressing that it isn't working.

[fireworks88]

I have the same struggle, except sometimes I find that by exposing myself to a fear over & over again eventually helps lessen the anxiety. For me it just takes time. It's difficult to hear criticism when we try so hard to do a good job or even try to do it perfectly. I'm such a perfectionist
I recently got into transcribing on the side of my day job (which is mostly data entry work). Transcribing is nice because you can work as much as you like & it's not really time-based. Just an idea. I use the "TranscribeMe!" website because it's legit (a lot of scams out there). It's difficult to pass the tests and you only get two shots, so I suggest learning 'clean verbatim' maybe on YouTube or something before testing. It's definitely not a full-time job but you can make extra if needed.

Also, maybe try the "Insight Timer" app? It's guided meditation and it's changed my life! They have lots of free recordings for anxiety.

Fitness is so good for the mind, I admit I don't exercise as often as I should, I actually don't go to a public gym because of my anxiety. I'd rather go jog on a trail or workout in my apartment instead. Maybe you could put yourself in your client's shoes because it's not easy for people to hire a trainer I guarantee many of them feel anxious. You can actually empathize with them because you've felt anxiety, you know what it's like, so you can connect. And even better, you're helping them out.

Anyways before I keep rambling, I hope you feel better! Keep your head up!

I think you should try CBT because it sounds like you're doing a lot of mind reading.

I do a lot of that mind reading, discounting the positive, and catastrophic thinking (amongst other problem thinking identified by CBT). The CBT is helping but I'm far from working. My psychiatrist has suggested when it's time that I look for a repetitive action job away from dealing with people.

[tippitippi]

Originally Posted by fireworks88

I have the same struggle, except sometimes I find that by exposing myself to a fear over & over again eventually helps lessen the anxiety. For me it just takes time. It's difficult to hear criticism when we try so hard to do a good job or even try to do it perfectly. I'm such a perfectionist
I recently got into transcribing on the side of my day job (which is mostly data entry work). Transcribing is nice because you can work as much as you like & it's not really time-based. Just an idea. I use the "TranscribeMe!" website because it's legit (a lot of scams out there). It's difficult to pass the tests and you only get two shots, so I suggest learning 'clean verbatim' maybe on YouTube or something before testing. It's definitely not a full-time job but you can make extra if needed.

Also, maybe try the "Insight Timer" app? It's guided meditation and it's changed my life! They have lots of free recordings for anxiety.

Fitness is so good for the mind, I admit I don't exercise as often as I should, I actually don't go to a public gym because of my anxiety. I'd rather go jog on a trail or workout in my apartment instead. Maybe you could put yourself in your client's shoes because it's not easy for people to hire a trainer I guarantee many of them feel anxious. You can actually empathize with them because you've felt anxiety, you know what it's like, so you can connect. And even better, you're helping them out.

Anyways before I keep rambling, I hope you feel better! Keep your head up!

I've thought about transcribing. Will check it out thanks! And yes I am actually good at that aspect of training. I do well with that population because I use a private space and I know how they feel.

[tippitippi]

Originally Posted by GoldenWaves

I think you should try CBT because it sounds like you're doing a lot of mind reading.

I agree
I found worksheets for CBT online but my doctor has suggested a therapist and I am planning on calling.
Once I work up the nerve haha

[tippitippi]

Originally Posted by justafriend306

I do a lot of that mind reading, discounting the positive, and catastrophic thinking (amongst other problem thinking identified by CBT). The CBT is helping but I'm far from working. My psychiatrist has suggested when it's time that I look for a repetitive action job away from dealing with people.

When I mentioned cleaning to my doc she said it wasn't a terrible idea at all because she knows that I struggle with social anxiety.

Turns out I still get anxious cleaning when people are home, unless it's a scenario where we can lay our cards on the table. I can say "I clean because of my issues and I don't judge you for having trouble keeping up with housework. I struggle too and I'm here to help. "

I wish I could work from home doing something simple. If I could find something like that I would be willing to do it all day . I don't have anything else to do.