Phones

Anyone else get this anxiety over making phonecalls? I just can't bring myself to do it if it's something important. For example I've been trying to get in contact with a couple of people who might help me sell some of my work - one I know would definitely take it. I've tried emailing and contact on facebook but that didn't get through so I needed to ring.. but I can't bring myself to do it. This is from back in mid-November.

I think part of the reason is I don't have confidence in my ability to converse and I can't see how the other person is reacting; and also because I'm worried I'll just agree to things that actually wouldn't work for me. Oddly enough I'd rather meet face-to-face that talk on the phone given the option.

Can anyone else identify? And how did you get over this kind of thing if you have?

I had to start ordering my meds. But not sure if Im over it.

yes I do struggle with using the phone and avoid it when I can ,im sorry I cant offer any constructive advice ,just wanted you to know your not alone on this ,best wishes

I understand. I am not a phone person; calling people and just talking on the phone in general causes my anxiety level to rise.

CATASTROPHIC THINKING, and discounting the positive, are a few things that come to mind. Grab yourself some paper....write out that worst case scenario you have been worrying about. Now write doiwn the best case scenario. List off all those things that are likely to actually happen. Assign a percentage of potential to each of the three columns as possibly happening. Okay. Look back at the lists. The best case scenario that we are hoping for may need to be re-evaluated. But, look at that worst case scenario - what plans can you make should it happen. Now revisit the likely scenarios. What can you do to plan around these? Which are postiive that may be able to be managed.

In this manner you will be working on several things. The first is obviously de-catastrophizing the worry. Another is to address black and white thinking and fortunetelling. Finally - and my favourite - is that it forces you to acknowledge the positive(s).

I did this several times a week for a month but now I can think and visualize the process without all the work involved.

I won't even call to order a pizza. I do it online! So, yeah, I can relate to you.

I've had what I call "telephonophobia" my whole life. I'd rather text, or even talk to a person face-to-face. I've gotten a little better at it since my husband died because I've had to, but if I had my druthers I'd always use text or e-mail.

How did we survive before the dys of Call Display?

RE: Phones

When my cell phone goes off or I find I have a voice mail message, I fear that whoever is calling me is a bearer of bad news. I admit most phone calls are not bad news, but tell my panic button that. I just assume the worst when the phone rings or I have a message that someone on this planet wants to talk to me.

I didn't have a phone of my own until I moved out of my parents' house and I only got one because they insisted. I didn't get a cell phone until I was stranded on the roadway and the experience was so dramatic that it gave me shingles.

A phone call is an instant conversation. I have no time to prepare for the call unless I know it is coming. I have little time in the course of a conversation to process what I'm hearing and give my best answer.

If I have to do the "social interact" thing, I prefer to at least do it with someone I can see. That way I stand a better chance of knowing when it is time to change the subject or say "Well, I better go...". Seconds of silence on the other end may mean my words are unsettling, confusing, or boring the life out of the receiver.

The other day I received an e-mail that if I wasn't autistic, I would have been thrilled about. But it came with a catch of a phone interview with an absolute total stranger halfway across the country. I was telling a special education aide the story and she said, "It scared you to death, didn't it?" I was comforted that someone understood that it did throw me off balance and was almost to the point of making me physically ill.

I wrote the stranger back and basically said, "I'm autistic. No phone interview. Just write me." I haven't heard back but it's okay. I'm at peace with it. I did respond to the e-mail instead of ignoring it. And I gave an honest answer.

I can totally identify with this. I have a phone but I will only take care of things that I can be done through text or email. I have avoided going to appointments if they couldn't be done online. Just like you I prefer face to face conversation which I find odd as well, since I'm not great at interacting with people. But I have drove around a traffic to go to places just to avoid making a phone call. I am also afraid to answer the phone or listen to a voicemail, somehow I assume it's bad news. I will make a phone call if I absolutely have to and don't have anyone do it for me but I have to prepare myself sometimes for days. I admire people who are able just to call a random number not knowing what to expect from other side.
I know it's an odd problem, I think even my husband thinks I'm crazy but in someway it's comforting to know that there are more people with phone phobia. I don't really have an advice, just know you're not alone. The upside for me is that my call in sick sheet at work is completely clean

Well I guess we all aren't alone in it It's been interesting to see what it is about phones that triggers anxiety in everyone. I'm in a way surprised with how communication technology has advanced that we can't get away with messaging and email nowadays completely instead of having to use the phone.

I will give that exercise a go and write it all down and work on it because I should be letting it interfere so much in my life.