[Cassie_k]

<font color="purple"> </font> Hello everyone, I am so happy to have found this group. I hope someone here can be of assistence to me and of course I hope to help others also.

My name is Cassie and I am a 28 year old woman who was diagnosed with Anxiety-Panic disorder 2 years ago. The attacks started after I discovered a lump in my chest that was really painfull. Instead of going to the doctor I started obsessing over what was wrong with me, of course I diagnosed myself with Cancer, it's always cancer. I go on line spending hours and hours trying to find out what is wrong with me and of course the internet has one foot in the grave at all times. The attacks were so bad I thought I was going out of my mind or that perhaps I would drop dead at any moment of a heart attack!

My heart would pound, I would go numb in my hands and feet, I would feel like I couldnt get enough air like there was a huge animal on my chest. I would shake uncontrolably, muscle twitches, noodle legs the list just goes on and on.

My doctor put me on Paxil 20 mg to start and that worked pretty good for me, untill the depression got really bad, I would cry non stop for hours and some times days. The doc then chaned me to Prozac 40 mg but because I was paying out of pocket for I had no insurence he perscribed the genaric Fluoxitine. I was on this for about a year and then I lost my job. I had to go off the meds and for a long while things seemed okay. I was on ege all the time but there were no sever Anxiety attacks.

This past year I have lost my job, have not seen family in 4 years and have no money for meds. We moved into out new home and that took a great finacial strain on me and my boyfriend. We were homless for almost six months last winter waiting for the home to be finsihed and have had continual problems with the contractors. None of the warrenty work has been compleated on the home and we still have no heat.

I started a diet 2 months agao and have lowered my carb intake, I have lost 26 pounds so... things are looking good right?! Wrong!... Last saterday I was so busy I didnt have time to eat, me and bf went out for dinner and not 5 min after eating I thought I was having an axiety attack in the restaraunt, everything went numb and shaky, then my vision becane blurry, and the sound of the restaruant slowy became faint and then... boom!! I passed out right there were I was sitting. When I regained conciousnes a momment later I new exactly what had happend. I did not go to the hospital because I thought perhaps this happend from Low blood sugar or something, this has never happend to me befor and have no idea if its anxiety related.

Now I have been reading on line and obsessing compulsivly about what had happend to me. I could have passed out from anything, blood disease, stroke anxiety OMG it goes on and on. Two days ago I was sitting at home in the morning and once again this feeling or sensation came over me, I layed down on the couch thinking that I was going to passoute except this time my heart was pounding so hard, everything went numb and my mouth was twitching. I had an overwhealming fear that I was going to die right there and that promped me to walk over to my naighbores so I wouldnt be alone.

Today I had another attack but not as sever, I keep thinking that Im going to faint again and am worrying that Its my heart. My leg hurts and Im have muscle spasams.. Im so confused right now and Im so scared. I hope some one here can relate in some way to what I am going through and perhaps ease my mind because its getting away from me.

I am sooo sorry this is so long but thanks to all who take the time to read.

[shakes]

Welcome,
Please talk to someone whether it be a doctor or a therapist about what is going on. Whether these are attacks or are health related you need to know. Take care of yourself!!

Jessica

[Myzen]

Hi Cassie,

I'm no medical expert, but I know about panic attacks.

You describe the attacks pretty much like I have them, and then you describe the feeling of edginess in between.

People have different experiences of panic attacks, the physical symptoms, but I think that the one common thing is the fear of the next attack. If a person hasn't had an attack there are no words to describe this fear to them. I guess it's the illest that a person can feel.

Now the good news. Once you've had a physical check up and you know that it's panic disorder, then you know what your dealing with. I've had this thing for years and I can survive it. I'm sure you can too.

Also, I know about not seeing family and not having money for treatment. With this sort of illness, those things come with the territory. It's hard, but you have to think of yourself and your health before anything else.

My aim has been to face the fear of the attacks. I can't do anything about the attacks, but I can deal with my own fear.
I have done this, and survived for a very long time.

The situation with your house is an added stress factor, but the main thing is to look after yourself and not get caught in a cycle of worry. In a stressful situation (that I can't avoid) I do some breathing exercises and they have helped loads of times. I go somewhere quiet and breath to the count of 4. I breath right down into my stomach and let myself feel my legs and arms getting heavy. I'm sure there are plenty of books on breathing relaxation.

Another tip is to find some small thing that you can enjoy, and do it. It doesn't have to be much. It's just about letting go of some worry, and being in the moment. There was a time when I couldn't do this, and then I slowly found my way back.

I know that the anxiety will come again, and I that have not had my last panic attack, and I feel able to deal with that.

I hope things get better for you.

Good luck

[Wants2Fly]

Hi Cassie -- I hope you will find a non-profit or other clinic that will see you. I have nothing to add. I just like people to know that their message is being read, and people out here care. (((((((((Cassie))))))))) (which means hug, took me weeks to figure that out)