[fijiisland]

I grew up with severe SM. I had no idea there was a name for it. It was in the 70's. some teachers were nice with me and others yelled at me. they took it as an insult to themselves and thought I was being rude!

I remember being singled out and yelled at in gym class and also yelled at by another teacher. I think I had to say sorry.

if there was an oral book report I just wouldn't do it and would take an F instead.

My parents were very strict and I am still scared of them now that I am almost 50! I can's swear or even say the word alcohol around them.

I have always felt different and don't feel normal. At every job I have ever had I always get in trouble for not talking enough or smiling. I also HATE when someone says "smile!". It makes me feel even worse.

SM ruined my life and I still suffer. I have a hard time in relationships and still can't make friends. my kids hate me. also am treated bad by everyone.

What is SM? is it selective mutism? geez, I hate when people say "smile" too.

[fijiisland]

yes, selective mutism.

kids nowadays get better help I think.

I've never heard of this. Is it an optional thing or a random compulsion. This is interesting as I now wonder about an acquaintance.

[fijiisland]

Originally Posted by justafriend306

I've never heard of this. Is it an optional thing or a random compulsion. This is interesting as I now wonder about an acquaintance.

It is a severe anxiety disorder. it is like you become frozen and cannot speak to people in public. but at home where you are comfortable you are fine. It is a form of control that develops from anxiety.

My parents were very strict and probably yelled at me about everything I did to the point where I was afraid to do anything. Some children of abuse have it. It is like you just tense up and freeze. You are not doing it deliberately at all, even if the teacher thinks you are! Chldren with this need extreme patient and kindness. yelling only makes it last longer.

You WANT to talk but can't. And when you try you start sweating and get extremely anxious. I hated every minute of it!!!! It is awful. I am in my 40's now and still have problems from it!

[EeveeGal]

Same. I think have selective mutism, but I'm not sure. You can read my post on it.

Originally Posted by fijiisland

yes, selective mutism.

kids nowadays get better help I think.

My daughter has SM. She is desperate for help. She is seeing a psychologist next week so hopefully that will help.

Originally Posted by fijiisland

It is a severe anxiety disorder. it is like you become frozen and cannot speak to people in public. but at home where you are comfortable you are fine. It is a form of control that develops from anxiety.

My parents were very strict and probably yelled at me about everything I did to the point where I was afraid to do anything. Some children of abuse have it. It is like you just tense up and freeze. You are not doing it deliberately at all, even if the teacher thinks you are! Chldren with this need extreme patient and kindness. yelling only makes it last longer.

You WANT to talk but can't. And when you try you start sweating and get extremely anxious. I hated every minute of it!!!! It is awful. I am in my 40's now and still have problems from it!

Oh my goodness. I can't imagine. I have the opposite where I feel a compulsion to talk - especially to fill those voids of silence. I have no recommendation. Sorry. But I find this interesting still and look forward to what others might have to say on this. Hugs.

[fijiisland]

Originally Posted by justafriend306

Oh my goodness. I can't imagine. I have the opposite where I feel a compulsion to talk - especially to fill those voids of silence. I have no recommendation. Sorry. But I find this interesting still and look forward to what others might have to say on this. Hugs.

I wish I had a compulsion to talk. lol!!! trust me..

[fijiisland]

Originally Posted by Lavender.

My daughter has SM. She is desperate for help. She is seeing a psychologist next week so hopefully that will help.

How old is your daughter?

I think I went to a psychologist a few times when I was about 6. I didn't like it and I think I was scared of the man. My parents either ignored it or yelled at me if they were mad and said "YOU HAVE TO TALK AT SCHOOL!!"

I hope she gets help.

[malika138]

I just learned about SM about a month ago from my t. I definitely had it as a kid in the 70's. I went to a T as a kid but then my dad forbade my mom from bringing me to see him. It still happens for me when the social anxiety kicks in - such as when I am shopping and a sales clerk asks me a question. I'll open my mouth to talk and no sound comes out.

Fijiisland - do you talk to a t about this? My t (obviously) knows this but we never discuss it. I'm unsure how to approach it. I don't like that it still exists.

[fijiisland]

Originally Posted by malika138

I just learned about SM about a month ago from my t. I definitely had it as a kid in the 70's. I went to a T as a kid but then my dad forbade my mom from bringing me to see him. It still happens for me when the social anxiety kicks in - such as when I am shopping and a sales clerk asks me a question. I'll open my mouth to talk and no sound comes out.

Fijiisland - do you talk to a t about this? My t (obviously) knows this but we never discuss it. I'm unsure how to approach it. I don't like that it still exists.

No I do not have a therapist. Years ago I went to a few but only once but I went for depression. I would feel horrible after going. I need to be around positive people and things to get better. I can talk to people when they ask me a question. I also work with the public, but I still feel nervous all the time. And you can't tell anyone you have it because it will make you feel worse