[Nike007]

Perfectionism is something I've dealt with for a long time. It really hasn't been addressed though. Like, I've brought up that I need to check/recheck in fear of making a mistake, and parts of my social anxiety relate to making mistakes, but no one, at least professionally, has addressed my perfectionism. No one has outrighted stated to me "you're a perfectionist". I'm told I'm too hard on myself and to be patient, but it doesn't really address the problem.

So one thing that relates to this is award ceremonies. Like, when I am eligible for an award that others also can win, and I don't win, I am extremely upset and tend to cry because it makes me realize that I'm not perfect and that I not the best. Then I tend to get into black-and-white thinking by saying "since I'm not the best, I'm the worst" or "I'm only smart if I win, and since I didn't, I'm dumb". But I know it doesn't help, but I always do this. I want to be perfect and can't stand failure of any kind. I would like to work on this and change it. I haven't found a good therapist yet. Maybe this year?

[Sunflower123]

Yes, please find a good therapist and let them know you need to work on your perfectionism. I used to be a severe perfectionist (anything less then perfect grades were unacceptable). It creeps into other areas of your life and handicaps you. I call myself a recovering perfectionist. I now aim for excellence and not perfection. I'm glad you are willing to address this now before it gets you totally stressed out and runs you ragged. It's a real bear. Kudos to you for recognizing it. Best wishes.

[Unrigged64072835]

My perfectionism came from abuse and neglect. If I did this right I would get more attention, or any attention at all. Once I addressed the root cause my tendencies waned a bit. (Though going back to school has fired them up, I remind myself that this the best I can do and it's enough.)

[BBB2]

I've torn up art work and stories I've written because they weren't perfect or good enough in my eyes.

I hope you find a good therapist who can help you with this issue.

[NeedHaldol]

I have that perfectionism trait. It actually came out of messing up so many times. I try to beat whatever I did before.

I strive for continuous improvement now.

[scarlett35]

I'm a perfectionist too. Although it means you put maximum effort into life it just never seems to be good enough! I can't pull myself away from stuff until I think it's perfect (which it never is!)

I think yeah find a therapist who can work through it with you. Mine is also enhances in social situations as I have a belief that I need to act perfectly or people won't like me!

At least you're aware of the issue!

[mobiusmoon]

Nike007,

I used to have issues with this as well. Like many of the wisest lessons in life, they are paradoxical in some ways. In relation to this, when I started taking things less seriously I was able to take life much more seriously and enjoy it more because I am able to see it for what it is and not as something that needs to be perfected.
It has helped me to appreciate the experience of learning new things as well, instead of focusing solely on the attainment or approval of someone or the system. I just want to be present, that's all anymore. When I am writing, without the desire for perfectionism, I find these days I am able to sink more deeply into the experience of it, the act of it.
See it as a huge strength that you are recognizing it in yourself though! I had to be told that I was trying too hard. Of course, it's obvious in hindsight, but for you to realize it shows you have a great level of self awareness.

[arnie91]

I can relate to this very much. I had a day off today and all I could think about was something I forgot to do at work yesterday. Honestly it probably wouldn't have made any difference in anything even if I remembered but because I forgot and I am a perfectionist, it's been eating me alive today. This happens to me on a regular basis. Any small mistake I make feels dire. Idk how to change this about myself

My perfectionism that I perform to an unbelievably high standard has the side effect of demanding and expecting a high standard of others. I am frustrated immensely when other people don't seem to try hard enough or worse, apparently don't care at all. This has lead to a great deal of difficulty and stress for me in the workplace where I am forced to work alongside those with what I feel is a poor or nonexistent work ethic. As a manager and leader I experienced a great deal of anxiety and grief because everyone in my opinion was under-performing. I really had to make a huge sacrifice to my personal standards and not hold people accountable for what I realised was normal acceptable behavior. Geesh, I am getting boiled up just remembering.