[janeausten1231]

For many years I have had severe anxiety when I have to go to events that I say "yes" to attend. This includes jobs, parties, lunches, Dr appointments, therapy sessions and just about any social engagement. I have had anxiety for 8 years before that I was strictly diagnosed as depressive. My background is tough. I have been in 2 abusive relationships, almost died from a surgery, mom and brother died tragically in a car accident and my father was an alcoholic. 2 years ago my diagnosis was changed to Bipolar 2 although I've never had a manic episode. I've never been suicidal nor have I been hospitalized. My anxiety is exscruiating. This is what happens. I decide I want to get a job, I make myself go to the interview, am fine when I get there, confident and I get the job. However, going to the job makes me want to throw up, the walls start closing in, I get claustrophobic, my hands shake and I cry so after that no matter how hard I try I can't make myself go, I call in sick, Im totally unreliable, I feel guilty and I quit. Other issues, I get invited to an event with family or friends that I love and adore. I.RSVP I buy a gift, I plan my outfit, the day of the event at Ives and my stomach is in knots, I'm shaing, I'm crying, I want to throw up and I back out. It has been this way for 8 years. I stopped going to church and I stopped volunteering at my kids schools. What is wrong with me!!!!

[Yzen]

Could there be a fear of being obligated to show up? The obligation itself might trigger a fear you are locked up and have no control. Are you able to attend therapy? Or, Maybe talking with a therapist on the phone might help.

[Sunflower123]

I'm sorry you're having such a tough time. I had agoraphobia for a few years and had this problem. Do you take medication for anxiety? This might be the first order of business. At my worst when I had to go to the doctor, it helped for someone to go with me and drive. Is this a possibility for you? Finally, when I can't leave the house, I do therapy by phone. You could check into this. Best wishes.