[Trombean]

So as I've found out the hard way, social anxiety and a professional work environment typically don't mix very well.

For those of you that have read my posts in other forums, you'll know that I'm really struggling to find a job right now and it's really made me fall into a huge depression. Although, I think I can attribute my lack of success to social anxiety.

I've always been very anxious in social situations, although lately it's been much worse than usual. I can feel my heart racing every time I talk to someone new. I'm so TERRIFIED of saying something stupid and looking like an idiot. But then there's a voice that says "Well you gotta say SOMETHING! You haven't said a word in 10 minutes!" So THAT anxiety forces me to say something, and since I don't really know what to say, it usually IS something really stupid. Then I go home and replay it over and over in my head and feel like digging myself into a hole and never coming out again.

Now when you put bring that into the scene of a job interview, it can be an absolute nightmare. My mind goes completely blank, I'm sweating profusely, my mouth is dry and I can't, for the life of me, stop stuttering. There's been several times that I've been asked a question and my mind just shuts off completely. There's just absolutely no activity in there whatsoever. So I try to force myself to say SOMETHING and it usually comes out embarrassingly bad.

Not only that, but another important aspect of finding a job is networking. I have a really hard time forming a relationship with other teachers and administrators. I'm sure I don't look the least bit confident even though I'm really trying hard. In fact, I might be trying TOO hard and that's probably what's hurting me.

Now, I want to be a teacher. And I KNOW a teacher with social anxiety is not a good combination. When I'm teaching, I'm usually pretty decent (with exceptional bad days). I mean I have things I need to work on, such as my supervising teacher pointed out while I was student teaching, I say the word "Ok" WAY too often. Or sometimes I talk too fast and I mix two words together (i.e.: "Grood job everyone!"). But for the most part, I think I'm ok and I can get better with more practice.

However, once I'm off the podium, I KNOW it's important to interact with students on an individual basis and that part is terrifying to me. I don't even know why. So most of the time, I tend to avoid conversation and that just makes me seem cold and unfriendly. And I don't want that to be me. I want my students to feel comfortable around me at all times.

Now I know what you guys are going to say and my answer is I really don't know how. I know I need to channel the "in the zone" feeling I get when teaching to other social interactions, but how do I do that? The moment I'm in front of one of my peers or superiors, it's like a part of me is trying to tell me "Are you really sure you know what you're doing? What if you have it all wrong? What if this person thinks you're stupid?"

I'm so tired of being afraid of people. It's gotten to the point where I start to get angry when I find myself feeling nervous around other people. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to get over this?

[Skeezyks]

Social anxiety was always a BIG problem for me during my working years as well. (Nowadays I just keep to myself.) Unfortunately I don't know as I have any particularly great suggestions for you as to how to heal from it. The obvious ones are anti-anxiety medications & therapy. (You probably didn't need me to tell you that!)

This is probably also a lame suggestion. But one of the things I've sometimes thought about was that I was never particularly active physically. And I've sometimes wondered, if I had made more of a point of being really physically active... playing a physically demanding sport... or some such thing... if that might have helped to dissipate some of the overwhelming anxiety I used to suffer.

Beyond that I think the only thing I can say is that we all have things we can do, & things we can't. And trying to force oneself to pursue a vocation one is simply not suited for, at some point, just becomes self-abusive. (I know because that's what I did for too many years.) There's a wonderful book I always like to recommend on this subject titled: Let Your life Speak- Listening for the Voice of Vocation by Parker J. Palmer, (Jossey-Bass, 2000)

Here are links to some articles, from PsychCentral's archives, on the subject of healing from social anxiety:

https://psychcentral.com/disorders/a...iety-overview/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/6-ways-...ocial-anxiety/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/menta...ocial-anxiety/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/7-ways...ocial-anxiety/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/4-psych...ocial-anxiety/

Lastly, here are links to 2 social anxiety support forums I came across. I'm not familiar with them. So I can't recommend them. But perhaps they may be of some interest:

SocialAnxietySupport.com

Social Anxiety Forum and Social Phobia Forums

[pixiedust72]

I had a teacher with social anxiety. He filmed his lessons and played them for us along with fun bits from his life to break up the teaching. I really liked it and it switched things up from my other classes (this was middle school). I think another important thing is working past needing people to think you're doing well. Every teacher I've ever had some people loved and some hated. Just do you because people will think whatever they want at the end of the day.

[Unrigged64072835]

I didn't socialize outside of work much. I always felt awkward, especially since I can't drink alcohol and there was a lot of that at those parties. I made the explanation that I had to get my kid and I didn't have a babysitter (I was a single parent at the time).

Not sure what to tell you otherwise, but you're not alone.